Dear Diary

Prologue

October 21st

Dear Diary,
My name is Bethany Roberts and this is the only thing attaching me to the real world. A year ago I had become pregnant. It wasn't planned nor did I want to have a child at 18 but I kept it in hopes of a bright future for us. Chandler Mason; the father of the child; the love of my life. He could do no wrong. I don't know exactly what went wrong with him but he was evil. He became corrupt by the drugs and alcohol that he would beat on me every night. He beat on me so much that my body couldn't endure it no more and I lost the child.
He killed my baby.
So I tried to kill him. My family stopped me before I could; the traitors. All the things he did to me and they ripped my hands from his throats and I was too far from him to straggle him. I could feel my body being strapped down to the bed but all I could see was him. I wanted him dead, in my arms. The last thing I wanted him to see was my face as his life was forced away from him like my baby's was taken from her before she even got to live.

Now I'm sitting here. Alone in this cold colorless room, and all I can do is write. I'm so numb from all the meds that this is all I can do from drifting away into nothing until my next med pass. I write to keep my sanity because this place is turning me into a lifeless zombie. Everyone here is so crazy, I have a part me not believing I should be here and another part knowing that this is where I belong. My family brought me here hoping I would recover my sanity and snap out of what ever state I was in but I knew there was no way I could go back to being that happy go lucky daughter that they loved.
Love. That's what got me here. Love or what I thought was love caused me so much pain. Why shouldn't I return the favor?
They tell me Chandler is in jail for a domestic violence but that's not enough. He got off so easy. He's a murderer and he needs to be executed. They tell me that he'll never be able to hurt me again that I'll never have to see him again but I want to see him. I was to get close to him like he got close to me. I want to do what he did to me. What he did to my child. I want him dead not by someone else's hands nor his own. I want him dead by my hands. I want to be the one to kill him to see him lose consciousness. To him fade from the world nice and slowly. The part of me that lusts for this is the part of me that knows this is where I belong but wants to get out.
Mark my words, Chandler Mason. You will die. I will kill you if it's the last thing I do.