Chapter 1 part 1 of 3

Chapter 1 part 2 of 3

Tessie had been jolted awake by the share intensity of her orgasm. She arose confused and disorientated. She felt cold and watched in wonder as the steam from her breath wafted out of her mouth making its escape into the atmosphere. Her nipples erected felt hard and bruised. She felt clammy, ‘why am I feeling so cold? The thermostat in the clock said its 34 degree Celsius, which would account for why I feel so sweaty and dishevelled.’

Then it came flooding back to her like a scene from her worst nightmare. She remembered the shock. The chill in the air increased.

Loneliness overwhelmed her. Her head lowered towards her chest she watched as the first huge tear drop landed on Marks favourite t-shirt – she had slept in it. She wanted to surround herself in his scent and wearing his shirt, she could almost feel his arms around her, soothing her. Telling her everything was going to be alright, the way he used to. Unable to stop the salty liquid now raining from her eyes soaking the front of the t-shirt, the hole within her heart opening up to the dark empty space - put there by the unsettling events in the course of the last 12 hours.

She gazed at the clock with unseeing eyes; ‘was it only 12 hours ago that I was robbed of my whole existence. Left broken, now I’m completely alone.’ Her agony returns in full as she laid back and relived yet another devastating chapter in her short life.

*****

She had been laying the dining table in preparation for one of their many anniversary dinners. This one being the anniversary of the day they had met. When she heard the phone ringing, she glanced at her watch instinctively then went to answer it. As she approached the phone, she became aware of the contracting in the pit of her stomach.  A sense of unease over took her, her mouth became dry and she licked her lips then picked up the receiver:-

“Hello.”

“Is this Mrs Sutherland?” the voice said.

“Yes.”

“I’m Chef Inspector Walker, I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news - I’m afraid your husband has been involved in a serious car crash and is currently under treatment at St Mary’s hospital in Chatham.”

“What! Are you sure it’s… it’s my husband...” Tessie cried out in disbelief.

“I’m quite sure - his identification was in his wallet madam, he has you down as his next of kin. I’m very sorry. His condition is said to be serious so I have sent a car to your home to collect you - it should be there shortly.”

As if on cue, there was a knock at the door. “I think they’re here,” she said, her mind going numb as she continue to function on autopilot. “Thank you Inspector I’d better go,” a shocked Tessie blindly returned the phone back to its stand. She walked to the door absently picking up her coat, keys and bag before going out the door to the waiting officer.

“Did the station call you miss?” Asked the young officer that was to be her escort to the hospital. Tessie could not answer, stunned, mute barely able to raise a hand in acknowledgment of his question.

******

At the hospital, the doctor in charge of her husband’s care greeted Tessie. He told her Mark’s condition was critical; he would not survive his injuries - not wanting to waste any more time he took her to him. The sight of the injuries - his face, shocked Tessie as she entered the room. His once handsome face was now swollen, disfigured and bruised. She struggled out a weak smile but her eyes told Mark all he needed to know about his condition.

He braved a smile. Tessie rushed to his side and buried her head on his lap. She could not hold back the tears any longer and cried in earnest.

Mark placed a hand on Tessie’s head, using the nickname he had given her when they first met - he mumbled softly, “Don’t cry Tess, I’ve had a good life and you’ve been a big part of that. I don’t want you to be sad. Tessie, look at me, I need you to do something for me. I need you to promise.”

“Anything! I’ll do anything.” She sobbed.

“I want you to promise me after – after I’m gone you will find love again and move on with your life”

“No! Don’t say that you’re going to be fine. I know…” busy hands started to tidy the sheets around Mark’s broken body.

Mark took hold of her right hand “We both know that’s not true Tess. Look! Tess there’s not much time. I need you to hear this. After I’m gone I want you to take my ashes and throw them in the lake by that picnic spot we found - where we spent our honeymoon. It’s beautiful - and I’ll always remember you there.”

“No! Why…?” she sobbed.

“I need you to dispose of my ashes Tess as you’ll never move on as long as you hold on to them. So no more than 5 years from now, Tess on our wedding anniversary – throw my ashes in the lake. Promise me.” He began to cough; small traces of red liquid slipped from the side of his mouth and ran down his chin.

“Stop talking.”

“Not until you promise me. Get rid of the ashes and move on.” His cough worsened and more blood fell from his lips.

“Alright! Alright, I promise.” Tessie said, as she bought his hand to her lips to kiss the back of it.

“Thank you.” Mark said he closed his eyes for a moment.

Mark moved Tessie’s hand still held by his own to his chest and laid it flat over his heart. He continued:

“I know you don’t think it Tess, but you will find love again. I can feel it here.”

He applied a small amount of pressure to the hand held. Tessie could feel the weak pumping of his heart through trembling fingers held steady by his hand.

“I feel it here – here in my heart.”

“I love you Mark!” Tessie replied through her tears.

“I love you too.” He whispered, “I always will.”

He fell silent and so did the faint pumping sensation, his hand fell away from her own. The sounds of the monitors loud bleeping alerted Tessie to the realisation her husband was gone. She screamed, dragged his body to her, showered his face with kisses and begged him not to be dead. The medical staff rushed in, trying to remove the distraught Tessie, pried her fingers loose, then took her into another room.

The doctor came to see Tessie and asked her if there was any one they could call to be with her. Tessie shook her head from side to side in response to his question. The news she had to relay couldn’t be delivered in a phone call. Mark had been her only family and his mother and sibling were in Canada. She would have to Skype them when she got home.

The doctor cleared his throat and informed Tessie that Mark was an organ donor and they had a man who was critical waiting to receive his heart. He apologised for his timing but continued to tell her time was a factor in harvesting her husband’s organs.

Tessie told the doctor that she understood and he should honour her husband’s wishes. Through her sniffs, she asked the doctor if she could see the patient that was going to get Mark’s heart. The doctor relayed to Tessie that this was not the normal practice but under the circumstances, he would allow her to view the patient through a small gap in the curtain at the window of the intensive care unit.

A nurse led Tessie to the other end of the long corridor. Through the window, she could make out a man with dark hair. She could not make out the colour as his hair, was drenched in sweat his complexion grey, he could not be more than a few years older than Mark. Gazing through the small chink in the curtain, she was not able to make out his features. She wiped her eyes straightened her back, her voice a mare whisper.

“I hope you take good care of Mark’s heart and appreciate the gift of life he’s given you at the expense of his own.”

That said.

Tessie left the hospital.