Lost

Chapter 7

Dear Diary,
My name is Omo, 4 years ago I was a freshman in high school with straight A's and I was captain on my dance team. I lived in a house with my abusive father and my younger sister who was two years younger than me. My mother died when I was five years old on the day of my birthday because of police brutality. I bought this journal to write about my feelings because my therapist, Mrs. J thought it would be best for me. I am now a freshman in college and I attend Juilliard which is in New York and I like a few blocks away from campus with my boyfriend Raymond and my 3 year old daughter Hope. Raymond and I have been together since high school and since then he hasn't left my side. Before I talk about all the stress I've been through, today I want to rewind the tape a little to let you know how did I go from where I was four years about to where I am now.

As I've mentioned before my father was a very abusive man, he always use to beat on me for the smallest things. But no matter how bad he was I was always able to tolerate all the pain I went through. But all hell went loose once Ray and I started going out. He use to beat on me even more when he found out I was going out with him but I told him no matter what I wouldn't leave Ray because I love him. After only a month of going out with Ray, I started to notice things about myself. I was always feeling sick and every single second I had to spit, and the worst of all I kept missing my period. So one day after school I decided to pass by the pharmacy to get me a pregnancy test. As I was walking home all I felt through my bones was nervousness. I thought to myself "I mean what if this is true I can't raise a kid at fifteen" I didn't know if Ray would still stay with me or if my dad will kick me out of his house. All I knew was that I had to find out if it's true or not. When I got home I went straight to the bathroom a did the process. When I looked at that stick it said positive. I cried so hard in silence. My whole life was ruined, how can I become successful with this teenage pregnancy? These are the moments I wished my mom was here.
The next day when I went to school I tried my best to avoid Ray, I know I had to tell him eventually but I just wasn't ready, and I didn't even know is I wanted to keep this child. But when I saw Kiara at school I had to tell her the truth. I would've told Chanté, but she can never be serious which is why I only told Kiara.
"I'm pregnant Ki" I said to her crying. "I just found out yesterday and you're the only person I told."
"Omg, are you okay? What are you gonna do?"
"That's the thing I don't even know if I want to keep it I mean what if my dad kicks me out? What if Raymond don't want to be with me anymore?"
"Omo, look I understand your concern but you have to tell Ray the truth, he deserves it he's a good guy. And whatever decision y'all make, make it together. Now stop crying" she says whipping my tears.
"Thanks, Ki". She nods and smiles at me.

This is basically how I ended up with my three year old, Hope. I'll explain the rest as I keep going.
                                          Love,
                                        Omo