Best friend plus brother equals: "why am I alive?"

Breaking up always sucks

I squinted. “So you’re saying that he’s jealous?” I asked curiously.

“Babe?” I heard Heath call behind us. I turned to see him and Kaolin heading in our direction with a tray full of pizza. Kaolin seemed distracted. I wondered what was wrong with him as he sat rigidly beside me.

I studied him as he focused on his pizza. Did Heath say something to him? Or maybe Kaolin told him what happened on the ferris wheel. I didn’t mean to let things get that out of hand but it needed to be done. Or rather I wanted it to happen.

Kaolin stopped eating his pizza and looked up at me. His face was pale as he watched me for a moment. “What?” He sounded annoyed.

I glanced away. I stared around us. Everyone seemed to be interested in their own affairs. I wondered what they all thought about the carnival. . .I eventually studied the dark sky. There were barely any stars in the sky because of the city lights, but the stars I could see were burning brightly. “It’s twelve.” Kaolin whispered in my ear.

I gawked at him. “Okay?” I said confused.

He smiled. “You know the last dance tradition.” He stood. “Come, dance with me.” He held out hand as “Vegas Skies” by The Cab began to play.

We quickly made our way to the dance floor. I rested my head on his chest as he tucked his arms around my waist and we began to sway. I kept thinking about what Sam was saying. Could it really be possible that Kaolin was jealous of Carter?

“All of these guards they stand tall and offensive. Putting up walls around on what once was innocent. You won’t let me in, but I’m stronger than that. Because you stole my eyes, and I’ve never looked back. Girl, last night, I forgot to mention the way that I feel. They way that I’ll remember this. When we’re this young, we have nothing to lose. Just a clock to beat and a hand to choose.” Kaolin sang these words in my ear. I looked up at him curiously. He peeked down at me with a smile. Does he like me?

He leant down and kissed me softly. I felt my eyes tear up. Maybe it was just this moment, but everything felt so intense. When Kaolin moved back he frowned at me tears. “Did I do something wrong?” He asked quietly.

I shook my head. “This song just makes me sad.”

He chuckled. “Why?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s a guy basically telling the girl he loves that he’ll wait for her how ever long it takes.”

“And what’s so bad about that?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Nothing. But I don’t really have anyone who would do something like that for me, that’s all.” I said casually.

“That isn’t true.” He said solemnly.

I squinted. “How?”

He smirked. “I’d wait for you.”

I rolled my eyes. “Seriously? You know how to kill the mode.”

He smiled. “I’m telling the truth.”

I frowned. “Oh, yeah.”

He laughed and pulled me into his arms. Although I was irritated by him, I snuggled in closer. I wasn’t sure exactly how I would feel if Kaolin did like me, but maybe I would be happy and we could really be together. “What are you thinking?” He asked me. He tussled my hair aside and let his lips brush my ear.

I shivered a bit. “I want to know why you’re so concerned about what happens between me and Carter.” I felt his body tense. I pulled back to see his face, but before I could he had composed his features.

“Because you’re my girlfriend.” He said rigidly.

I scowled at him. I leaned in and whispered. “You know I’m not.”

He groaned. “Can we have this conversation another time?” By now the music had ended and people we’re beginning to clear out. Heath and Sam we’re walking back to Heath’s car.

“No, lets have it on the way home.” I dragged him towards his car. He reluctantly played with his keys. “Would you open the door!”

“Que?” He said nonchalantly.

I bit my cheek to keep from screaming. “You’re definitely not Spanish, so don’t play that!”

He mumbled something incoherently before opening the door. I got in and waited to see if he would begin the conversation. “I know what you must think. . .that I’m an extreme asshole and I shouldn’t meddle in your life, but I just can’t stand the idea of you being with Carter.”

　

Kaolin’s P.O.V

“. . .I just can’t stand the idea of you being with Carter.” Shut up! Did I really just say that? I don’t care about what she does with Carter. She’s her own person and has nothing to do with me! What am I talking about?

“Why?” Her voice wavered. Did she believe me or does she care? Is my feelings towards her important?

I tried to think of a rebuttal quickly. “Well, you know how he and I have that whole competition going on to steal each others girl or really his vendetta, but anyway, I just know he’s doing this to get back at me.” Yeah, that sounded reasonable. I totally sound like I don’t care. Great.

“Of course.” She sounded defeated, but what could I do? I couldn’t tell her it was because I cared about her like that. I mean, I don’t think I do. . .

　

Rose’s P.O.V

So all along I was just another prized possession in Kaolin’s little game of sluts. Expect I reluctantly deserved the title of his girlfriend.

“We’re here, Rose.” Kaolin announced.

I opened up my door and rushed up the sidewalk. I heard Kaolin’s car door slam behind me. “Hey!” Kaolin called after me. I kept walking. “Rose! Stop!” I felt his hands wrap around my shoulders. He spun me around to face him.

“What?” I asked annoyed.

“Why are you storming off like that?” His eyes were blaring green.

I exhaled heavily. “I don’t want to do this anymore.” I felt myself tearing.

His face expressed several emotions of worry, grief, and confusion before he spoke. “What? Why?”

I sighed. “Because I don’t want to be a pawn in your game with Carter. It was one thing to start this relationship because you wanted to ends things with Madison. But it’s another to involve me in some game to see who can get into my pants faster.”

His brows furrowed. He swallowed loudly before looking down.

　

Kaolin’s P.O.V

This was it. There’s either two outcomes for this situation. I let Rose go and we move on or I tell her about the way I could possibly feel for her, but I couldn’t do that. If I’m not a hundred percent sure that I like her I shouldn’t say it, right?

“If you can’t do this anymore, than maybe it’s best if we ended it.” I said the words with a bitter taste.

I glanced up at her. She was crying. “Okay.”

Before she could walk off I held her close in a hug. She cried in my arms. I closed my eyes and tried to savor her scent. “Why are you crying, Rose?” I whispered.

She pulled back and stared at me. “Because...I’m relieved?” It sounded like a question, but I didn’t press. I didn’t want to hurt her or make this worse. I wished I could kiss her one more time to say goodbye. And maybe figure out if I did like her...or worse....love her.

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