My Boys (boyxboy, girlxboy)

Twenty-three

For a moment I don't answer, too busy looking at his face studying an expression I can't read, he's curious? Angry? Disappointed? Indifferent? I really can't tell. "Yeah, I mean I think so, I just really need to clear my head! You must have those mornings too right?"

"Yeah I guess so" he says quietly

"Right we'll um, I'm going to go get ready, I'm probably just going to clean the house later it's a mess! You go enjoy your free time" before he had a chance to answer I push past him into the hall and upstairs to my bedroom.

I collapse onto the bed for a moment my heart racing which is odd, I didn't exactly sprint up the stairs or at least I thought I didn't. Maybe the way Angel was looking at me had made me unsettled or something. Either way it was a crappy feeling and I wanted it end. I picked up my runners sliding them on quickly, grabbing my iPod and jogging back downstairs and out of the house. Luckily we lived pretty far from other houses in a Forrest like area. It would appear that we loved deep in the country but actually we were only a ten minute drive from the town and school, we were perfectly placed in a quiet escape, without actually needing too escape, that had been my parents dream.

It seemed it didn't matter how loud I played the music, what song I chose or what route I decided on today because nothing was working. My breathing was out of sync, my legs burned and head throbbed from the pressure of trying to keep going. Sweat stuck to my forehead and the cold air stung against my eyes. Frustrated I collapsed against the first big tree I found, I wanted to take a few minutes to get my breath back and then I would try again!

It must be all the commotion this morning, Adam and Josh, I was worried sick about them and then not to mention Sammy, I could stand what Derek had put him through, the anger must be making me kind of crazy. That had to be the explanation for why I was so not myself today, I can't think of anything else!

On my third attempt at gaining some sort of momentum I have to quite, there's no point in going further when I'm already exhausted and I'll have to turn back. I always run home but not today, I don't feel like It.

By the time I reach the house I must've been gone more than an hour, Angel was in the kitchen making coffee as I peeled off my shoes and socks, grimacing at the sight of two new blisters.

"Are you calm now?" He smiles bring the steaming mug to his lips

"The opposite actually" I bark despite not wanting to

"It didn't help then?"

"No it made it worse, I couldn't do it today I'm such a mess" I rub my hands over my eyes frustratedly

"Maybe you're tired" he comments probably after serving the large purple bags wrapped around my eyes

"Probably" I say limping my way to where he stood taking his cup and taking a sip.

"Would you like a cup maybe" he joked giving me another breath taking crocked smile, I couldn't deny how gorgeous he was, those stringing eyes and blindingly white teeth. Maybe If I didn't feel like my blood was heating my entire body I would've stayed and taken the cup but I can't bring myself to do it.

"I've got cleaning to do" I announce before marching to my room, where I spend at least ten minutes pacing.

I swap out my running gear for a pair of loose sweats and a tank top, tie my hair in a messy bun and begin my tidying with my room. As organised as I usually am I have let the house become a bit of a mess, empty cups, clothes and random sheets of paper fill almost every corner of the room. Maybe that's why I'm so agitated, cluttered living space equals a cluttered mind or something like that.