Days Forgotten

"Why are you still here? Still trapped like an animal in a cage?" Her voice was dark, dangerous, but soft as velvet, trapping me in its mysterious trance. Hanging on her every word and holding my breath for the next velvet tone.

"I'm still here because...” I paused, thinking for a moment. Why am I still here? They can’t keep me here forever can they? “Well I don't know why I'm here, but I can't leave." I tugged at my straitjacket, as if to emphasis that I couldn't do anything, even if I wanted to. She let out a sigh.

"You are - We are so much better than this." Her smile faded "You could so easily break out of here, escape, and be free. You are more powerful and dangerous than you know, than they think. You just need to remember who you were, who you are, what you are."

"Powerful? What I am? What are yo-" Just then there was a sound, the familiar clanking of the medicine cart as it clanked down the hallways. Its wheels creaked as it was pulled through across the cold tile floor, the medicine bottles hitting against each other, an orchestra of sound, the theme song to the pain that was to come.

I panicked, scrambling back, my back hitting against the padded wall, the soft fabric moulding around my skinny frame. The smell of mildew and water rot surrounded me as a cloud of dust puffed out from the fabric, filling my nose and choking my throat. I hid in the shadows, hoping that the darkness would swallow me up and hide me from this demon forever, but I knew it wouldn’t. I looked back towards the girl, but she was gone. I envied her, envied how she could leave this place, disappear at any moment. I envied her freedom, I envied her safety. The sound of the key in the lock and the slow creak of the door as the lock turned made me sink even further back into the shadows. I watched as he walked into the room full the medicine cart after him. He slowly closed the door, the slow creaking sound of the locks turning made me flinch.

He was a fat, grotesque man, bald and no taller that 5ft 6. His skin was dirty with mud and very greasy. His teeth were yellow from his cheap cigars. He smelled of old greasy, sweat, cigar smoke and a few other smells that I don't care to mention or remember. He grabbed a needle, filling it was the same cloudy liquid as he always did. His face was a mask of enjoyment as he faced me. He laughed as he pinned me to the floor, stabbing me in the arm and pushing down on the plunger. In a matter of moments I could feel my body going numb, feel each limb fading from my control. First my toes, my feet, then my legs, it traveled up my body until I was completely paralyses. He slowly unbuckled my straight jacket, throwing it off into one of the dark corners of my cell. I stared, wide eyed as he unbuckled his belt and pulled down his zipper. He pulled at my once white, cotton bottoms. I tried to struggle, to scream but my limbs lay useless at my sides and my tongue lay heavy in my mouth.

* * * * * * *

I sat there in the dark, curled up into a ball. I felt dirty and gross. I stared blankly at my feet. I counted my toes over and over again. Ten toes, ten toes, ten toe, ten, ten, ten years, I have ten years. NO, NO, I have ten toes. I fought back the thoughts of how many years I've been here, how many times I’ve endured the same torture, day in, day out, the same routine and the same questions but never getting use to the pain that came after. I curled my hands into fists, my long nails cutting into the skin of my palms. Hot tears rolled down my pale cheeks, leaving trails in my grime covered skin. I placed my hands over my eyes, fresh blood mixing with my tears, tinting my cheeks red.

"It's time you go to sleep." She whispered.

My head shot towards the door, where she now sat. There she was again, sitting on the ground, eyes black hollows and her hair blowing around her as if she was standing in some phantom breeze. Her hair moved like a river that reflected back the mysterious glory of the night sky. Her smile was dangerous and her gaze was cold but I knew I was safe with her around. I slowly nodded, before lying down on the padded floor, letting my eyes drift closed, falling into a deep sleep.