The Open Canvas

Part 3

That night's dinner was rather talkative, usually out house is filled with emptiness and reluctance to speak but we were having family conversations. Joyfully recountings of the day were said by both my sarcastic, perpetually happy mother and my mildly stoic father.

It was an atmosphere shift to say the least. I guess without me sulking in the corner my parents felt more comfortable.

After my parents finished talked, they both looked at me. "And how was your day Mr. Negative?" My mother asked in a playful tone. She looked me up and down and asked, "You seem less... edgy tonight. Something happen at school?"

I opened my mouth to speak but before i could say anything she leaned towards me and whispered, "Was it a girl?"

I couldn't help having the faintest smirk show up on my face when she said that. "IT WAS!" she practically shouted.

My father smiled and rolled his eyes at her reaction. I knew her found moms enthusiasm endearing. "Tell me about her," she demanded. "Is she cute? Nice? Well i guess you wouldn't like her if she was nice but still-"

"Joyce!" My father interrupted. She looked over at him like she had been snapped out of a trance. "You gonna let the kid speak or just tell the story for him?"

"Oh fine," she leaned back in her chair and playfully slapped him on the arm. He turned to look at me without saying anything.

"Aha... well- yes mother, she is cute."

She squeaked excitedly. "I knew it," she said under her breath.

"And im not really sure if she's nice yet. I did of the talking."

"You did most of the talking?" Mom asked shocked. "Wow you never talk, i wanna meet this girl."

My father pursed his lips and put a hand on her shoulder. She looked at him and slouched in her seat again. "Sorry," she murmured. 

"So, do you know anything about her yet?" my father asked slowly.

I frowned as i thought about it and realized i didn't know anything about her yet. "Well... no. But there was something about her that made me feel... comfortable?" I had lost most of my communication skills over my long prohibition of speech so it was hard to communicate how I felt about Daisy at the time. 

Both my parents grunted in response but the rest of the night  was a kind of awkward quietness. Still, compared to most dinners it was a huge improvement. I didn't know it at the time, but the mere fact that i was talking to them filled them with relief and happiness.

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The next day at school i showed up with a bunch of little people running around in my intestines (I was nervous). I desperately wanted to talk to Daisy again but I was scared that she'd forget about who I was and move on with her day, not a thought of me crossing her mind. I know it was irrational to think such things now but at the time social contact was something i was highly inexperienced in. 

The first half of school seemed to drag by, like it was huge stone being tugged at by a starving slave. Every class, I'd be watching the clocks tick by, moving at a second and hour. I was still highly unmotivated so i really didn't care that i wasn't learning anything in my classes; that was usually the case anyways. 

When lunch did eventually arrive, i sat at the table i had yesterday and sank down into my usual slouching position. I realized that being stressed about someone caring about you is exhausting. I hadn't felt stress in so long and it hit me like a bag of hammers. Emotions take allot out of you let me just say that.

As i waited for her arrival, i began to doze off; eyes lazily opening and closing at their own will. Just when i was about to drift off, i heard her voice.

"Hey."

My eyes shot open and i could feel adrenaline shoot through my body. My heart pace quickened, you wouldn't be able to tell though. The only difference in my physical appearance to the outside world was me lazily opening my eyes to stare at her.

"Hey," i responded. I tried to sound less like an asshole than i usually was to make her feel welcome.

She sat down across from me.

"So uh-" we both started at the same time.

"You first," she insisted.

"Aha, okay. So yesterday when we were talking... it seems like you have allot going on upstairs."

She snorted. "Yeah..."

"Care to elaborate?" I prodded.

"Okay, umm-"

"Actually, if i may?" I interrupted. She nodded in responce.  "Why did you come over to talk to me yesterday? I mean, to be frank, I'm kind of a dick to everyone that approaches me."

"Yeah," she said thoughtfully. "But your face when you'd be spacing, its different from how you act. Its. thoughtful and sad." She shook her head, "Im honestly not certin why, i just thought i saw something in you that i could maybe relate to."

I crossed my arms and leaned back in my chair. "Huh, did you find what you were looking for?"

A small smile elusivly passed her face. It disappeared almost as fast as it showed up. "Yeah, i think i did. Im not sure yet though."

I felt mild disappointment at her uncertainty but tried not to show it. "Huh, well okay. So whats your story then? It must be pretty messed up if you can relate to me."

"Yeah uh," she squirmed a little bit in her seat. "I guess my life itself isn't so bad, but like..." she stopped to think, frowning and staring into space. "Well my parents divorced because my dad cheated on my mom. Funny thing is that my dad divorced my mom, she wanted to work through it... she still loved him." Her face hardened and i could see her eyes wetten. "Me and her were pretty close. She was like my best friend. But when the divorce finalized my father got the rights to mr. She um..." A tear silently rolled down her face. "She killed herself pretty soon after it was all done."

"Oh," was all i was able to say. I reached across the table to hold her hand. She seemed to welcome my touch and squeezed it tenderly. 

"I'm... sorry if I'm not being very comforting. I'm not really used to... this," i said awkwardly.

She almost looked offended when I said that, "No, no! You're fine. Just seeing your face, it looks like you understand what i'm going through."

I don't think i even came close to understanding her but I'm glad she thought i did. I was glad she came to me for help and i was glad that she found me perseptive to her problems. 

I wasn't really sure how to respond so i just sat there and waited for her to say something. After a few moments of silence and hand holding she pulled her hand away from mine. She looked up at me, her eyes still watery, but filled with that special kind of affection you get when you find a person that understands. "I'm glad i came up to you," she said quietly.

My stomach squirmed with joy (this is how my body expresses happiness, i dont get it either). "Yeah, me too."