Mary Sue Check & Kill [DISCONNTINUED]

Phoebe Crain

Summited by : YummyMummyTummy

Name: Phoebe Crain

Age: 18

Species: Human

Looks: Long black wavy hair with a tint of blue, pale skin tone, dull red eyes. Wears a black fluffy jacket and scarf that covers her entire neck. Wears a black skirt that reaches her knees and sneakers.

Personality: Shy at first but as she got to know her surrounding people, she becomes energetic and enthusiastic. Bright and positive like sunshine. Innocent and oblivious to common sense. She teases her friends playfully if they're in a relationship or is almost in a relationship.

Bio: Her neck is filled with scars cause of her adoptive parents. She was born abandoned. Pheobe didn't have much school time, in result, a very bad education. She had the scars from her parents cutting her neck often to get her blood for dontation. She believes that it's for the good, but it hurts. She is oblivious and gullible to very cute and adorable things

My opinion: 

Children that are abused grows up to be nervous, anxious, and not very bright. They usually have at least one mental illness and being abused will most likely require years of therapy to get over. It's a very common sign of Mary Sues and it doesn't seem to affect Phoebe except for the scars. Many of those that are Mary Sues have traumatic back stories but they aren't affected by it. 

Also, some of the side affects of being abused includes: Depression, Anxiety, difficulty concentrating, and difficulty sleeping. Many parents that abuse their children neglect the, unless they are needed.

If Phoebe wasn't at school, where did she make friends? Won't she be hot having a scarf around her neck in the middle of summer? Probably after a while, people will probably get suspicious on why she is wearing a scarf 24/7. Then what? "Oh! I'm always cold!" Yeah no. Who in their right mind would wear a scarf in 100 degrees farenheit weather without looking suspicious?

Also, if I might add, wouldn't her adopted parents kick her out because she's legally old enough to go live by herself now?

Basically, she is a Mary Sue.

How you could improve:

Maybe give her some flaws that directly stem from her childhood of abuse, like, say for instance, having a negative personality or having severe trust issues?