My Diary

Epilogue: A Letter For You

Dear My Best Friend Harris,

Hi Best! I'm sure the minute you read this, I'm probably a hundred miles away from you. At sure ako na super naiinis ka sa akin ngayon.

For that, i would like to say sorry but i do not regret it. And I'm sorry if i do not regret it. It's just, you know that i dont like goodbyes. And i know that I'm being selfish.

Pero hindi tungkol dito ang sulat ko. Hahaha... kita mo yang lumang diary na yan? Tanda mo pa ba yan? Yes. Akin yan. Yan yung diary na gamit ko nung bata pa tayo. Gusto kong basahin mo ang mga isinulat ko dyan. Or not? It depends to you.

And i have a confession to make...

Harris dearest... mukha ka talagang unggoy! Hahahaha!! Pikon ka na naman! Joke lang! Alam mo namang gwapo ka. Peace!

Anyway, alam kong super happy-go-lucky ako and parang wala akong sineseryoso but I'm serious when I'll tell you that....

I Love You.

Not just as a friend but as a man.

I Love You.

I know, ang selfish ko di ba? Ginugulo pa kita kahit nay gf ka na. I'm sorry but I'm not sorry for what i feel for you.

Hindi ko alam kung kailan nagsimula o kung paano nangyari ito pero wala eh. Mahal talaga kita.

I tried my best to stop it but i can't. So, I tried to hide it and I am really good at it.

Masakit ka palang mahalin. Sobrang sakit. Mas madami pa atang luha ang iniiyak ko sayo kesa ng mamatay si daddy.

Grabe ka kase! Masyado kang pafall di mo naman pala ako sasaluhin! Nang malalag tuloy ako nagderetso ako sa lupa. Ang sakit kaya nun.

I tried to smile everytime i see you with her. I tried to be happy when i see you're happy with her. I tried to hide my tears everytime i help you with your surprises for her. But my eyes keep on betraying me.

My heart is slowly breaking, crushing repeatedly on the ground. It is broken beyond repair but I'm willing to try to fix it.

But let me tell you that I'm happy for you. I'm happy that you don't have to go through what I'm feeling right now. I'm happy that you found the girl that you are willing spend your life with.

Wala akong balak na guluhin ka at wala din akong planong ipaalam sayo toh para hiwalayan mo si Lea. Lea is a great girl and she is perfect for you. The reason I'm saying this is because I want to move on. Kasi alam kong mali itong nararamdaman ko.

And because someday,  i want to be whole.

Thank you for being my best friend. Thank you for caring for me and for loving me even if it's not the way i want you to. Thank you for being my crying shoulder. Thank you for being my knight in shinning armor.

Thank you for being you, Harris.

I never regret it. I never regret loving you.

But someday, I hope i will be able to tell you face to face that i finally move on.

Na wala na.

Na mahal na kita sa tamang paraan.

And until that is not happening, juat let me love you from afar.

I wish for your happiness and for your success.

This is not a goodbye. This is only a break and our story will continue when I'm finally ready. We will meet again someday. So, I'll see you again.

Thank you.

I'm sorry.

I love you, Harris.

PS: please take care of my diary. 😊

Love,
FAITH CRUZ ❤ ❤ ❤