Ecstasy of the Universe

The Last Chapter

OM sat with his hands clenched together and his head was severely paining. He had not found himself in this worsening state of health in the last few years. His hands extended towards the table searching for the crushed ice-cubes wrapped with cloth to cool his head. He felt very strange..... Everything about today is so different! He observed his acceptance power getting lowered in front of his eyes. Tears came out of his eyes settling near his lips while OM licked the salty fluid away. He was screaming with no noise as if whom he was calling had already heard him. He hears to everyone... Please listen to me...

Another strange thing making the day quite 'different' was that OM constantly recollected his pastimes; his sister, mother, family. And then Krishna (the hero of OM's love story), of whom he became a devotee. Finally meeting Prabhu and coming to Varanasi. OM seems to remember everything of it. He felt as though living each moment again. It is Krishna's pastimes you should remember, not yours he joked as if anesthetic to the pain. He tried diverting his thoughts the other way - but he simply failed. He became the eleven year old OM once again living the same feeling for Krishna; as if seeing him for the first time.

He remembers how Prabhu and he had started the plantation process near the temple. Prabhu was confident about OM and that he alone could work on it. And he was right! OM in the last few years developed the place with lush green trees around. OM is highly credited for this work but he always would say, "I didn't do it... Probably him" looking at the lord in the temple. People often say that OM even went to the place surrounded with trees and sang for the lord. Also that at times he carries beads with him. People also said that OM would run to the green place even at late night without any fear of snakes or scorpions who settled there. But OM had likely created another Vrindavan around the temple. Nobody ever could attempt for it.

He recollected one evening when he cried a lot for Hari. He was apparently tired of visiting his beloved at month time's breaks in dreams. That was the only way, he thought, he could spend time and learn more of the qualities of Krishna in him. But mainly, he missed him and badly needed him. When in the dream that followed Madhusudhan himself came to him, he cried loud in ecstasy and felt an urge to sing for him. That is when he ran to the bushes at that hour and sang loud for him. People knew that he had transformed himself into Radharani.

OM now also had his own set of students who often came to listen stories of Shree Krishna and other avatars of him. OM also would interpret the hidden symbolism in all the stories. The students loved listening to the stories from OM. The scene was just like how a mother narrates stories to her children. Sometimes they even lay on OM's lap and talk about the lord. Some of them would recite hymns or sing bhajans only to make OM feel as if embraced by Krishna himself. OM had also initiated them to chanting and performing poojas. They were permitted to meet OM at any point of time but they preferred to halt meetings after the sky turned dark. They definitely knew how madly OM was in love with Hari.

OM's daily routine had become to sit in the evenings near the window penning down songs for Shree Krishna. He would look at the sky and talk to it as if it were Krishna's creamy-smooth blue hands. He would also say how mad he had become for Krishna. At one page he wrote:

O! Kanha,
What dust have you sprinkled in my eyes,
That wherever I see,
There is only you...
And when my eyes are closed,
I see the Krishna smiling at me,
O! Kanha,
What have you done to my eyes?

Another excerpt from the big broad golden book where OM penned down thoughts read:

O! Kanha,
Somebody give me a cloth,
Where your figure is painted...
Somebody give me those beads,
Which helps me chant your name...
Somebody give me that garland,
That rested on your neck...
Somebody give me that lotus flower,
That spent joyous time on your feet...
Somebody give me that pudding,
Which your lips have tasted...
O! Kanha,
I feel I have lived the happiest life,
Spending time with you,
Some witty most beautiful....