As I Lay Dying

Twenty one

Evie shakes her head at me and stare down at the river. I'm so thirsty, I lean towards it but no matter how much I scoop up and drink in my hands the terrible thirst still sears upon my neck.

Suddenly I'm jolted, pushed on all sides. I'm lifted with inhumane strength then shoved forwards. I hit the ground heavily but I sink forwards, relishing the cool mud on my hot skin.

I close my eyes, huge birds are flying overhead.

Suddenly a thick boot steps directly down on my leg and my entire body explodes in pain. The white hot sensation is so exquisitely painful that I feel nauseous.

I have a brief moment of sheet lucidity, a heartbeat in which I realise that I'm laid face down in the mud of no mans land with men stumbling over me before it I slip into the welcoming depths of unconsciousness.

~~

The thirst crackles in my throat. The pain in my body is so intense that it takes a long moment before I can locate the source. My leg aches with stabbing violence. I attempt to move it but I'm bound down somehow.

A shuffling noise comes from next to me and I open my eyes slowly. The pain is so intense that even my eyelids seem to resist movement. A groan leaves my chest and the shuffling movement halts then footsteps make their way towards me.

"Oh, you're awake!" I turn and a slim face comes into focus. "Don't try and move, wait one second."

I hear the blissful sound of water being poured into a glass and an arm slips round my shoulders and raises me with surprising strength. A cool glass is pressed to my chapped lips and I try to take a long draw of the water but I'm not allowed.

"Just sip. That's it. Gently does it." After a painstakingly long time she lowers me back down and I feel her soft hand on my forehead.

I'm becoming more alert and I dare to open my eyes again, wincing as I turn my head to inspect my surroundings. Soft light comes from a single gas lamp in the corner. There are 6 beds, all filled with sleeping men covered by crisp white sheets.

"My leg." I groan, unable to elaborate further.

"I know, I know." She says. "It's bound to hurt, of course it is. Sending you over in that state! I know we're short of men but..." She trails off shaking her head. "You're extremely lucky to have survived."

I try to remember. The shrapnel. Luke telling me it looked infected. I can't think further, the pain is too intense, it feels like a red hot polka is being held against my leg.

"Gangrene." The nurse says softly in answer to my unspoken question. "We had to remove a large portion of skin, you were lucky not to have been amputated. The removal was clean enough but sepsis had already set in."

I frown and she sighs softly, dabbing a cool towel against the clammy skin of my forehead.

"You know how it is here, they only want to use the treatment and medication on men who have a good chance of being fit to fight again. You didn't look likely so they left you to your chances. Your body has fought a hard battle, but it's won." She smiles.

"It doesn't feel like it." I attempt to grin but it comes out as more of a grimace."

"It will, give it time. I don't have anymore medication to spare, I'm sorry but as I said, we aren't a priority here. We get less than the other wards." She frowns sympathetically. "You're going to have plenty of time to rest. Hopefully you'll be signed off when you get there."