THE TIME MACHINE // KURT COBAIN

"I'm with you."

It was 7 PM. Kurt went out to buy something. That's what he said.
Me,Courtney and Frances were watching TV. I know that she's thinking what i'm thinking.
Kurt.
We are scared. Everyday he just gets worse and worse and worse.
It seems like there's no way out.

He finally comes back. Frances runs to the door, screaming: "Daddy!"
...Frances...
He's holding three bags. He sits down with us and says: "I bought you something.."
Courtney: "Oh Kurt! Why? You didn't have to.."
He smiles at us. A very weak smile.
"This is for you." He says giving a present to Frances.
She opens it. It was a necklace,with Kurt's name on it.
She hugs him and he kisses her cheek.
I tried to hold the tears back. Thank God, i succeded.
There's enough tension lately, i don't wanna add more to it.

Then he gives a beautiful ring to Courtney. They hug and kiss each other.
They're just perfect.
Then he comes towards me and hands me my present.
I open the box and there was a guitar with a pick. On the pick it said: You know you're right.
That reminds of our conversation.
I didn't know what to say. I immediately hug him, and a tear starts to run down my face.
"Damn it!" I say. "I didn't wanna cry!" I continue.
I look at Courtney and Frances. She seems really upset and about to cry as well.

God i hate this. This has to stop.

"It's okay,don't worry..." He says. "Do you want to play us something with your new guitar?" He asks.
"Well.. You know i'm not a good guitar player!" I say.
"Who cares? We can help you. Just start playing something...." He says.
"Ok...." I say.
They both grab their guitars. I start to play "Old Age" and they start joining me.
Kurt looks like he's trying his best to show that he's happy, but i know he's hating this.
It's obvious.
He hates everything around him. He hates his music,he hates listening to other people's music, he hates making music..
He just hates what once made him happy.
It looks like, he even hates to breathe right now.

It was time to go to bed.
All of a sudden, Kurt grabs my hand and he hugs me. I start to cry.
"Ssshhh, please don't..." He whispers.
I can't. I hate to see him like this. He has bruises all over his arms and face. His face just looks emotionless. He's dead. You can see that in his eyes. He's not the same person anymore. I wish i could do something.
He says: "Whatever happens, just remember i'm with you."
"Oh my God Kurt, please don't say that!" I say, while i start crying even more.
He gives me a kiss on the cheek and goes to his bedroom.
I was still standing there, crying. I felt worthless. I was watching my brother dying.... slowly.

I feel it. The worst is coming.

I finally go to bed. After i spent 1 hour looking at the ceiling, i stop crying.
I hear Courtney and Kurt kissing and making love in their room.

I started crying again.

I could't help it. It's too painful.

....Frances.... Poor little bean...

After i stopped crying i finally fell asleep with only one thing stuck in my mind.

"Whatever happens, just remember i'm with you."