Wattpad Clichés

02. Reverse Harems

2. BITCH, YOU HAVE TOO MANY KIDS.

I'M NOT OBLIVIOUS TO THESE types of stories; the stories in which there is one girl (who may or may not have siblings (which, if they do, are almost always male siblings)) who's parents go through a life-hazarding tragedy and said girl is forced to go live half way across the country with a rich family that said girl's family knows no background about, and ends up in an odd love-triangle (and sometimes, love-square) that never ends good and typically two people get hurt-no matter what shape these love-shapes end in.

I swear, reading those books is like sitting in a geometry lesson; so many fucking shapes, I feel like I'm in mother-fucking kindergarten again.

Why can't she just save everyone who's reading said story the trouble and freaking choose a boy, instead of stringing along like, three different guys, only to leave two completely heartbroken?

She, for some randomly stupid reason, thinks it's totally fine to carry three boys within her evil witch-clutches.

Speaking of these boys, the girl isn't always at fault. Why do the boys (at least three of them) have to fall for the same girl? It's least likely for that to happen. Can't they just be respectful of their brother's feelings and just drop the girl, because honestly? Most of the time, one of the three boys are just in the race to agitate his brother (because in these stories, the boys are usually related).

Also, on another totally random topic, why are the parents almost always rich? Well, obviously they're rich enough to have all those goddamn kids, but...

How?

Who honestly has all that time to pop that many damn babies out? My Mom barely had time to pop out the three she had, let alone eight kids tbfh. And why doesn't this person have a wrinkly, old vagina? Idk.

I had no idea it was genetically possible to have so many damn boys. What about the chromosomes? Did she have weak ones or some shit, because I would feel goddamn overwhelmed with all those boys. Like, they can like, overthrow.. you.

On a different note, that must have been some phenomenal sex. She really came back for more. Or he did. Whatever.

The parents almost always force their teenagers halfway across the country to a family they don't know for some retarded reason. They haven't seen the Ashers for more than 839348493020101038843929 years, and for some reason, they are all of a sudden more reliable than a family member they do know.

Wtf?

Don't even get me started on how they send their teenage girl with a bunch of teenage, hormonal, sex-crazed (same thing but), non-virgin, horny boys.

My mother barely trusts me with my male-cousins (for reasons that I do not know, they're all ugly anyway), so why do these parents trust their daughter with some boys that aren't related to her, and can easily take advantage of her?

I get that, sometimes, they're in comas or dead and they can't control that, but it's honestly so unrealistic and it sort of kills the story for me - despite the fact that I still read it.

Finally, speaking of the parent's situations, they are always so stereotypical.

Comas.

Deaths.

Business Trips.

Goddammit, why so negative? There are tons of scenarios out there where a girl could move in with a bunch of boys for good, apparent reasons. Let me give you one, actually: A girl, going on a beach vacation with her mother's best friend and her mother's best friend's family.

Sorry for encouraging the continuation of these stories, but I like them... Despite bashing them. Sorry.

Finally (the real finally), she always falls for the bad boy who treats her like shit. Always.

5 out of 8 of those boys are sweethearts, yet she dates the one who literally fucks every bitch in town, and for what reason? Exhilaration?

Exhilaration is watching two, six-episode seasons of a show in a day, LaVodka, not dating a whore.

It's also really stupid. I mean, you have a whole lot of sweethearts, but you date the one who treats you like shit. What a long-lasting relationship.

So if you see a girl, walking solo up a driveway with a door made of marble, and a group of boys staring out the window at her (with lust), assume she is part of a cliche and throw eggs at her. Act like you're Isaac and she's Monica's car, because she's being Cliche.

-

I bash the stories I like because I'm a judgemental whore. Sorry. I read these stories and love them, always commenting on them, but I rant about them. I'm a little backwards.

SORRY I UPDATED LIKE, A MONTH LATE, BUT I WAS LITERALLY BUSY DOING NOTHING. SORRY.

By the way, I made a kik. Haha. It's: disturbics. (without the dot, obviously) I have no life and I love you guys and want to speak to you so hHAHAHAHA PLSKIKMEIMDESPERATE

Sorry this is terrible, wrote most of it on my phone (which i finally got a new one, dammit)

byE