Hello From The Other Side

Kabanata 3

Last chapter na po ito. Epilogue is next. Thank you for reading!

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Resemblance

"Hi, mommy!" My son greeted me.

Of all the horrible things that had happened to me in the past, at the end of the day, I am still thankful that it had happened. I wouldn't have this kind of happiness that I am experiencing right now if certain things didn't happen back then.

A month after Yeshua and his family left 8 years ago, I started to have the common pregnancy symptoms. Dizziness, nausea, morning sickness... The moment we found out that I am pregnant, my parents were disappointed of my actions. They started to blame themselves because of what happened.

Pero kahit na ganoon, hindi pa rin nila ako pinabayaan throughout my pregnancy. And until the moment we found out that I am carrying twins, their happiness doubled. And of course, mine also.

Pangarap kong magka-anak na kambal, with Yeshua of course. Nakaka-overwhelm lang na natupad ang kahit isa sa mga pangarap ko para saaming dalawa. Kahit naman na umalis si Yeshua, sinigurado pa rin niyang magiging masaya ako kahit papaano.

With the arrival of the twins, my world turned upside down. In a good way, of course. Tumigil muna ako sa pag-aaral para matutukan ang kambal. I gave birth to a set of identical twins, both boys. I named the eldest one as Yoseff Zaragossa and the second one was Yuan Zaragossa. Gustuhin ko mang isunod sila sa apelyido ni Yeshua, ay hindi talaga pwede. Aside from the fact na menor de edad palang ako, ay wala rin siya upang pumirma sa birth certificate.

"Kuhang-kuha nila ang hitsura ng mga Altamirano, ano?" Ani ng nakababata kong kapatid na si Pepper.

"Ang gu-gwapo!" Gigil niyang saad.

Ngumisi ako. "Saan pa ba magmamana 'yan?"

"Well, maganda ka naman 'te. Kaso iba talaga ang dating ni Kuya Yeshua e. Good boy na sobrang ma-appeal. Ganon." Tumawa nalang ako.

Dapat ay isang taon lamang akong hihinto ng pag-aaral, ngunit nangyayari ang isang bagay na kahit kaylan ay hindi ko inaasahan.

"Mama! Mama! Ang taas ng lagnat ni Yoseff! Mama!" Naiiyak kong saad. Yoseff and Yuan are barely a month old now.

Agad naman naming naisugod si Yoseff sa hospital ngunit huli na ang lahat.

"The baby has a lung condition that one of his lungs aren't fully developed. This is called a neonatal death. You mentioned that he has a twin right? There may be or may not be an unequal supply of nutrients for the twins when they are still on your womb. It's a normal condition for twins to have a healthy one, and a weak one." The doctor explained further but it seems like I am not capable of comprehending anymore.

My eldest son's death took a toll on me. Nagsimula 'kong sisihin ang sarili ko. Bakit hindi ko inalagaan ng maayos ang anak ko? Bakit hindi ko man lang napansin na nahihirapan na pala siyang huminga? Bakit ba kasi madali akong mapagod?!

But then, I have to be strong for my remaining child. We buried Yoseff's remains on the local cemetery here in Alegria. Dahil sa mga nangyari, parang tumanda ako ng limang taon mula sa edad kong disi-otcho.

Idagdag mo pa ang mga mapanghusgang tao na kung pangaralan at lait-laitin ka ay tila ba alam na nila ang lahat ng nangyari sa buhay mo. It was as if they are there to witness all the hardships and sacrifices that I've endured.

After Yuan's first birthday, I went back to school. It was hard. Because all my classmates were a year or two younger than me, but then, I already experience the worst, so nothing can shake the ground I am standing now. Besides, hindi na lamang itong pag-aaral ko ay para sa kinabukasan ko, para na rin ito sa kinabukasan ng anak ko.

Being a single mother and a student at the same time was very tiring. But my son, Yuan, keeps me going every time I am down.

"Mommy, milk for you oh." Yuan carefully put a warm glass of milk in front of me.

"Thank you baby." I sweetly smiled at him then kissed his forehead. He is now 4 years old. But he talks like he is older than that.

"Grandmama says that you should go to sleep na, mommy. Yuan and Yoseff don't want you to be tired, mama." Then he pouted. I chuckled. Even though his twin brother passed away when he is still very young, I made sure that he will grow up knowing him. Knowing that once upon a time, he had a brother that is with him ever since he was born.

"Yes, baby. You should sleep too. Para mag-grow na lahat ng teeth mo. Para hindi ka na asarin ni Tita Pepper na bungi." I giggled as I watched him frown. Kuhang-kuha niya talaga ang features ni Yeshua. From the top of his hair to the tip of his toes, Yeshua'ng Yeshua.

Sometimes I wonder if kung nandito siya kasama namin. What if kung kasama ko siya sa pagbubuntis at panganganak ko? Siguro, hindi mamamatay si Yoseff dahil may katuwang ako sa pag-aalaga ng kambal. But then, they are just wishful thinking. What ifs.

Minsan ay iniisip ko kung may tatanggap pa bang lalaki saakin? Kahit na may anak ako sa pagkadalaga? But then, I won't mind not having one. Masaya na ako kahit mag-isa lang ako.

Pero madalas ay naiisip ko din kung sakaling bumalik si Yeshua at ang pamilya niya. Sasabihin ko ba sakanya na may anak kami? How would he react? May asawa na kaya siya o girlfriend man lang? Something deep, deep, deep down inside me ached. I don't know what that is for, at wala akong balak na alamin pa iyon.

Masaya na ako sa kung anong meron ako. What Yeshua and I had before is already buried six feet under, bawal nang ungkatin pa. Besides, I have Riguel now. Sana lang ay sa oras na aminin ko sakanya ang nararamdaman ko at iharap sakanya ang anak ko ay tanggapin niya ako. Alam ko naman na hindi ganoong tao si Riguel na manghuhusga, besides he's a lawyer so he knows that there is more than what you see, so I know that he won't judge me.

Nasa coffee shop ako ngayon malapit lamang sa opisina nang makita ko si Sebastian, ang schoolmate ko noon na kasa-kasama ni Riguel noon hanggang ngayon. He was at a table at the corner and I am only two tables away, nakatalikod rin siya saakin kaya hindi niya ako nakikita. May kausap siya sa telepono at ang hula ko ay si Riguel iyon, base na rin sa tawag ni Basty.

"Ano? Kasal ka na?! How come Riguel? Ni wala ka ngang girlfriend!" Gulat na bulalas niya.

Maging ako ay nagulat rin sa narinig. I know it's unethical to eavesdrop but at times like this, you wouldn't mind what's wrong or right anymore.

"Si Lilienne? Akala ko ba ay wala na silang planong umuwi dito–" he paused. Sila? Means the whole Altamirano is here?!

"Ah. So si Lili lang?" He paused. "Pero hindi naman kayo, diba? Umalis nga siya nang walang paalam. Paanong kasal na agad kayo?"

I sighed in relief. Pero bakit kasal na sila?! What the fuck is happening?!

"So nagpakasal kayo para sa mansiyon at plantation? Ano yan dude? Sugar daddy ka na?" Sebastian chuckled.

What?! So nagpagamit lang si Riguel? Hindi talaga free will ni Lilienne ang magpakasal kay Riguel at kailangan pa talaga niya ng suhol bago pumayag? I gritted my teeth. What a gold digger.

"Ewan ko sa'yo, Riguel. Basta you'll be back here in Manila in lets say, two months?" He paused. "Okay. See you soon, dude! Enjoy your honeymoon!"

Sebastian laughed hard before he ended the call. Not long after, may lumapit sakanyang singkit na babae na mukhang haponesa at agad na hinalikan siya sa labi. There's something familiar with this girl. Naningkit ang mata ko nang may mapagtanto.

Suki! Si Suki! Ang kaibigan ni Lilienne na halos kasabay niya ring nawala noon! Why is everyone who left is coming back now?! Does that mean na umuwi na si Lilienne ay may posibilidad din na umuwi si Yeshua?

And by the mere though of his name already sends shiver down my spine. Oh my god.