Tell me if I'm wrong [ e.d. ]

:(

 I just wanted to say something. I was watching the Dolan Twins ' googling ourselves' video and I got really sad for some reason, but like not sad as in 'Boohoo' but like emotionally just SAD. All kinds of sadness, happy and not happy. I thought of how long I have loved them both and how much they've matured. ( BTW ETHAN WAS SO DIRTY IN THE VID I REALIZED WTF )
     I also got sad because - as some of you may already know - I didn't have enough money to go to their last tour after liking them for 2 and a half years. It was a painful year for me when they went on the 40U tour. Sometimes I just cried myself to sleep thinking I would never be able to meet them. I had dreams of meeting them and I woke up and It would all just be not in my reality. My face was always left red with tears every day and every night. I know they say they love us all and they do, but it hurts knowing that they probably don't even know I exist. I love them so much and I'm so proud of them and how far they've come from being just 2 kids in NJ to 2 grown boys in LA. I live in LA too and I almost lose hope when I never see them. My eyes are watering just writing this. Ethan, Grayson - if you ever see this which you probably won't bc it's on Wattpad - just know that you mean everything to me. I'm a bit younger than you but it would just be awesome to hug you guys in person and give you a quick kiss on the cheek :)
- The writer, Ella 
yours truly, always and forever yours