the personification of life

Fake smile

All it takes is a beautiful fake smile to hide an injured soul and they will never notice how broken you really are. It's like I'm in a game but no one is telling me what the rules are. It's going to be all right. You can control your destiny.you can control this, you can control that. But the truth is can't control shit. Because in the end when you lose somebody every prayer,every tears,every screams, every guilt, isn't gonna make up for the fact that the only thing you have left is a hole in your life where that somebody that you care about used to be.. i wish I couldn't feel a damn thing because of the feelings you get when you can't make the people you love happy. What if it's agony now and then it's just hell later on? Screaming, god can't you see me? Can't you see me really? Look at me. Aren't you supposed to be here when no one is actually here? Abandoned by life? Or abandoned by myself? Feels like always falling and never climbing up. Not giving up. But not getting up eathier. You don't want to know how I feel. Some people ask you to express your feelings, they don't mean your actual feelings, they mean the feelings that they want you to have, because can't deal with sad or weird or dark or scary. They want you to smile and say " yeah am fine, everything is great " because then, they can just go on with their lives, and never think about you again.and when you're so connected getting through today without a hint of how you would feel tomorrow. And then you realize you don't want to feel tomorrow. you just need some pain to be gone.but it's hard to keep fighting when everyone is gone. Or feels like they're gone. You almost feel ashamed that someone could be that important, that without them you feel like nothing. That huge risk of being shattered by someone or something.

There's a girl in the corner, ever since she was little
It was always her dream. To marry a man who would treat her just right. With loving bestfriend for the rest of her life. Her biggest fear is that she'll be rejected. She'll try anything to feel loved and accepted. But the love that she craves has never come through. And all the dreams she once held just haven't come true. If you ask how she is, she'll say she's fine. She disguises it well but she's dying inside.
She puts on her fake smile while she bleeds .
On the outside she builds her life so her life will seem filled.
But on the inside she's never complete.

There's a boy on the streets acting all rough. Making fun of others just to make him feel tough. He puts on a show so his ego will grow. Put everyone down to try and raise himself up. People assumed that he's always been cold. It seems like there's nothing that could tame his soul. On the outside he's a tough guy with a heart made of steel. But in the inside he's been broken by the pain that he feels. He's the abuser outside, but at home he's abused. With memories that will always leave him bruised. Now he's lost all his hope and his trust has worn thin. So he hurts others first ,before they can hurt him. He puts on his fake smile while he bleeds. On the outside he will build so his life will seem filled. But on the inside he's never complete.
Though we try not to show it and all try to fix it.
In hearts we're all broken but no one admits it.
They say that it's what's on the inside that counts.
We all put on a brave face but on the inside we doubt.
We're all scared of the world , we don't know what we're facing.
We're longing for something but don't know what we're chasing.
Though we face the same things that burden and break us.
We all look to each other for some feeling of status.
We want people to view us to follow and like.
To favor our looks and subscribe to our life.
Everyone out there keeps searching around.
Just to find the right pill to pick them up when they're down.
And we try our best.
But we fail our own test.
We put on our fake smiles while inside we bleed.
On outside we'll build so our lives will seem filled.
So what is the answer?
What is the cure?
What's the solution to being so insecure?
Can sex and money fulfill all your dreams?
Or a bullshit process to restore self-esteem?
Well if we're all here by chance and there's no higher power.
Then live life to the full or just waste every hour.
If it makes you feel good do it all the more.
And find satisfaction in what you adore.
If you only live once then do what you choose.
And if we're all here by chance so you can't really lose.
It's the best people offer but never satisfies.
It's like trying to fill a bucket right up to the top.
While it's leaking out more than you ever could stop.
Whatever the world produces as an answer.
Just eats us away like emotional cancer.
There's nothing inside you to enlighten your soul.
You can't do a thing to make you feel Whole.
So what if we've been looking in all the wrong places?
Trying to find gratification to fill our hearts spaces?
What if the real answer isn't something conceived?
It's not something dreamt up by people but something received?