Dear diary,
I have a hard time understanding somethings, I feel like my mom doesn't recognize that most of the time she raised me. I never got along with my siblings, me and them never click together. I will always be the black sheep. I realized I wasn't happy with who I was, with who I was going to be. I needed to change myself.
I needed to change who I liked, what I looked like. I told my mom that being a straight female isn't what fit me anymore, that day my mom's true colors came out. I was disappointed in myself, in the world, at my family. My family thought I wanted to be this way because my aunt is lesbian. I never hungout with my aunt, they didn't like her.
I started being girly cause that's what they wanted, I gave that to them. I got really confused in a time in my life where I didn't know what I was, I loved wearing makeup girly clothes but I had they wrong body.
I was so upset with myself I didn't know what to do. I stop smiling in pictures, at people. I stopped in school or jus in general. My family would ask me what's wrong, I didn't tell cause I knew they would lash out on me. So, they brought my dad in, they thought just because he wasn't in my life I need him.
They was wrong, I will never need him. I was never the person who would cry over not having two parents. I was perfectly fine with one, to be honest. I finally realized what I am, what I will always be.
