(A bar is sitting in the corner of the stage with one bar stool and a man sitting at it. Behind the bar is a bartender.)
Valet:This day. This day was a big fat ass piece of shit. I drove cars. I drove cars. I drove cars and now I'm going to drink. Give me another.(The bartender hands him a drink.)
Bartender: Coming right up
Valet: I hate being a valet it is just so stupid.
Bartender: Use your imagination.
Valet: What?
Bartender: Use your imagination. When you feel like shit working your job. Make up some sort of exciting life for the people whose car you’re driving Make them serial killers or drug smugglers. Then you might have something to occupy your mind with.
Valet: Wow. That is a great idea. Give me another drink.(He gives him another).
Bartender: Do you maybe want to slow down. I've watched a lot of people drink in my life and I know that you’re getting up there in the scale of drunkenness.
Valet: Naah. I'm fine.
Bartender: You, are drunk.
Valet: Mildly. Hahaha. You know, I was driving this woman's car today and it was this really strange light green color. Kind of sparkly. Who buys a car that fucking impractical. I mean green and inside, the interior was beige and you could see where her kid had been kicking the back of the seat. Uh.
Bartender: What do you think about when you drive cars?
Valet: Shit.
Bartender: Literally shit or figurative shit?
Valet: Shit.
Bartender: How about you think about something other than shit.
Valet: Why would I do that, my life is fucking stupid.
Bartender: Make it less fucking stupid by occupying your mind with something interesting. Make up a story or something. Use your imagination. I’m sure you have one somewhere in there.
Valet: Wow that is a great idea. (A women enters and stands stoically in the center of the stage) So she was dressed nicely. So she’s rich.(The lights go to the woman. The women previously dressed in plain clothes puts on a nice coat and high heels.The lights go to the valet.) Her kid is young but not young enough to be in a car seat. There was a booster in the back. I hate what boosters and kids do to cars. I like nice cars.
Bartender:(aside) Wow.
Valet: I like nice cars.
Bartender: Oh really, good.
Valet: I like nice cars.
Bartender: Stop being a broken record, just tell your fucking story.
Valet: So, little kid. No, scrap the little kid, that overcomplicates my plans for tor this rich women. Or maybe she isn't really rich; she just has a very wealthy lover. Steve Jobs wealthy.
Bartender: Steve Jobs is dead and you can be a working mom, it’s possible.
Valet: Whatever, we shall see what happens.
Bartender: You really can be a working mom.
Valet: Whatever. So, wealthy lover.(The lights go to the woman. A man enters and puts his hand on the women's shoulder and kisses her cheek.The lights go to the valet.) He got his money because he works for a secret organization that is working to create a time travel device and really she is a spy for the chinese government trying to find out said secrets through sex.
