Child of the Moon

Chapter 15: Trusting the parasite

Gosha led him through what she called sets. Minutes at a time, he'd urge the life-branch to bend to his will, winning the trust of the creature on the other end. Gosha said to allow the creatures desires flow through him and become his own. What it wanted needed to be what he wanted.

"It's like a mortal offspring meeting a stranger," she said. "You give them what they want and they'll open up."

"But what if what they want is bad?" he asked. He dug his fingers deeper in the sand, trying to stop the trembling that had started a few hours ago. The parasite's voice had become more clear every set he did. It knew Gosha was there. It knew Gordial protected the sand he rested on and the creatures in it. It knew because he knew. 

Gosha watched him carefully, waiting for him to say something else. He held his stare, waiting for her to break first. "Well," she said. "That's not typical for a creature to want something bad." Her prodding eyes dug into him. She giggled. "Unless it's a mortal or something."

He shook his head but frowned. "But what if?"

"Just for a moment. You're not letting a creature grasp the life-branch for itself. You're sharing it, remember? You're just . . . giving it a little room to tug back."

"I never noticed this thing before. I  never tugged on anything."

"Life-branches don't work like that. You'd know if you were taught anything." He glared at her. "I know. I know." She sighed and rolled her eyes. "I just hate to think that Sorora would have left you with so little information for such a big duty."

"Well, she did."

Gosha only sighed. When Malek looked at her, he noticed the glassiness in her eyes while she looked up at Sunsoul. Its rays lit the amber irises, and he let himself admire the glow. Though it looked like fire, he liked the power it seemed to hold in him. Such control over the sea but great power within herself. It was a good thought, at least. 

He couldn't figure out whether she cared deeply about Sorora or she had placed too much trust in the daughter of Sunsoul. He hoped it wasn't the latter. Watching her look up with such longing made him almost wish he could turn her face and see the same look at him. He'd never seen such radiance in a simple gaze. But it wasn't simple. It sought answers, presence, hope. It pleaded for understanding and a mended trust. All for Sorora? It didn't make sense. 

He didn't have an ounce of trust for her. Respect but not trust. Her role was great and powerful. Sunsoul was sovereign, and to live beside the omnipotent being would be humbling. He couldn't trust her, though. She forced him into his Len without training. She wanted him to find this parasite that stuck to him like the leech it was. She refused to tell him so he could have trained—so he could have learned—and now he had to suffer for her mistake. He had to learn, and maybe he had to die. 

"Malek?" Gosha broke the silence, and her eyes were on him again. "What is a life-branch to  you?"

"What?"

"What would you compare it to? How would you describe the bond between you and the stars or the creature?"

He pulled his hands out of the sand and brushed them against his legs. He hadn't cleaned the dark skin hiding his flesh in a few weeks, and he wondered when the next rain would come. That usually cleaned it well. "Like a path, I guess. I'm at one end, and it's at the other. I have to follow it to find it, and it can kick the dirt away and prevent me from reaching it." His face stiffened when he realized the last part he'd said.

"It's not quite like that." Gosha placed her hands in her lap, her ankles underneath her. Brushing her hair out of her eyes, she seemed to have a wary glint in them, her brows knotting toward the center of her forehead. "More like a rope. Mortals used to use them to pull boats from the water."

"You're not that old." Malek grinned.

Her smirk was followed by a shove at his shoulder. He didn't expect it, so he fell over, barely catching himself on his wrist. He sat up, grinning wider when Gosha laughed. Gosha's smile could have covered her face and he wouldn't have minded. It was a nice smile, framed by the emerald locks of the sea tumbling over shoulders.

"No, but I had to learn the history of the Len I was taking over." She sounded almost sarcastic, and it made Malek grin wider. "If a mortal couldn't handle the rope, they would give it to someone else." She pulled her hands together as if she held a rope and dragged it to her side. "The rope never gave. It was taught."

"And that's what a life-branch is."

"That's how it's handled. It remains taught no matter what—until you give it slack, anyway."

"So . . ." She rolled her eyes, but she had a hint of a smile on her lips. He had to admit that he kind of enjoyed the comparison she made. He liked hearing her explain it.

"So," she mimicked, "you've been tugging. The creature has felt restricted for a long time because you haven't acknowledged it."

His eyes lit up. "Would that make it lash out?" Her shaking head made him stiffen again. He shoved his feet forward into the sand. 

"All creatures are different. Some have more power over their lives than others, but none should have the ability to lash out. I guess that's where it's not like a rope." Her eyes fell. "It's just that creatures are guided by us, and they can only do what they were born to do."

"Then what is the restriction, Gosha? I don't get it."

"I guess that's the confusing part. Everything has different needs." She looked toward the waves, her eyes trailing the shoreline. "I can't tell the whales where to go or what to sing, but I perform the same duty as a mortal's conscience."

"So we're voices in their head."

She smiled a little. "Something like that. What we want prods at them, and if we've given them that slack, they're more willing to accept our influence because it's not forced." She pulled her knees toward her chest and rocked back and forth on her feet, looking back at him. "You can pull a boat in a direction, but the waves can move it somewhere else. We're just a strong influence."

"I thought there was a lot more power in carrying a creature's life-branch."

"Disappointed?" Malek just shook his head. He didn't know. Gosha sighed. "I know what you're thinking. Authority isn't exactly taken. Not without rebellion. Respect is more powerful."

"What if it's necessary?"

"Demanding control is possible, but it doesn't ever end well." Her eyes seemed distant. She'd told him more about what it meant to hold a creature's life-branch than even Gallany. Malek couldn't help but admire her for that. Still, she was holding back something. Her solemn words made him wonder if she couldn't stand the memory. "You just have to earn respect, Malek. Earn the trust."

"Sounds stupid." Malek tried to hide the fear creeping within him. If he was naturally restricting the parasite from going anywhere, he couldn't afford to give it slack. He couldn't afford to let it go. He wouldn't have any influence on any parasite. It wanted to feed. That was it. "How can I know what it requires to do to live?"

"That's why you let it influence your thoughts. Let it fill your soul with its requests and desires. It's not going to hurt you. It can't. But it will be different."

He wanted to listen to her. He wanted to try it. But it was dangerous, and she had no idea what she was suggesting. He'd only felt its tug for a moment, but the desire to feed still tingled in his skin, still spread throughout his body. He wasn't sure what would happen if he let the parasite take control of that, even for a moment. Maybe he had to.