Numb

Chapter 2

Why him? Wait maybe it's not why him. No, it's not. It's why now? I'm not one to ask questions but now is a time where it's necessary. I'm just one girl, how much struggle do I need? How much struggle can I take?

I walked along the long hall of the oversized manor I lived in. It was more like a prison. I ran my fingers on the cold walls. I was sad for a long time struggling with pain both external and internal. I had been sad for too long, and now a wave of anger ran through me. I drew back an arm and threw my fist into the cold stone wall of the basement. I cried out in pain knowing no one cared and no one would come and help.

I held back the tears and continued to think about the fact that Ethan was just being held out of my grasp. Like I was chained to a wall and he was being held in front of me just where the only thing touching him were my fingertips.

If Josh hates me, why doesn't he just let me go? Does he like to watch people suffer? Oh wait let me answer that! Yeah, yeah he does like to watch people suffer. It's like candy to him. If you want him to listen all you have to say is "they suffered." and boom he's there.

Then there's Ethan. He's sweet and charming and is beautiful all together, if anyone was suffering he would do all he could to save them. I began to think about what he looked like under his hoodies and t-shirts. What his voice would sound like whispering "Bella" over and over again. I thought about what it would be like to have him hold me in his bare arms. What it would be like if there wasn't fabric restraining us constantly. What if I was able to be like that with him? I shook that thought away and continued walking.

Moments later I bumped my newly broken wrist on a door handle and screamed out. God this hurts! That was about the moment I realised it was a door and the knob felt cold, like it led to the outside. I opened the door and I was right. It led right into the garden that was always a secret to me, and the garden leads to the road...

I closed the door and started to walk again. I don't know why I didn't just run. I didn't even think about it. Then I realised I didn't leave because I had a plan. A better plan than I had ever had before.