My Rockstar || (n.j.)

Chapter 44

"We'll talk later. Right now, I need to speak with Lexi. How's Aster? Everything okay?" I asked him, his hands in his pockets. He winked and smiled.

"Great." I kissed him softly, and as I tried to pull away, he pulled me back in.

"I haven't had you to myself all day." He murmured against me, smiling and putting his hands on my ass. I went on my tiptoes before I heard Lexi's voice behind me.

"Mom." I pulled away from my husband and smiled to him over my shoulder before taking my daughter into our bedroom. I closed both doors and we sat on the bed.

"Alright. When I was your age, a few months older, I had already had sex a handful of times." Her eyes got wide as if she couldn't believe it.

"Before dad?" For some reason, none of the kids believe that Nick and I were with other people before we found each other. I nodded.

"Yup. But I only had a couple of boyfriends because of lots of other things, but that's not the point. The last boyfriend I had before your father, Chad, we had a night to ourselves the night before my sixteenth birthday. His parents were out of town and my dad and step-mom didn't really give a crap about me at that point. I was really convinced I loved this guy and he would be my forever."

"But you were wrong." She said once I paused. I looked into her blue eyes, the same ones that I have, and smiled.

"I was. Very. So we had sex that night, and didn't use protection at all. Nothing. A few weeks later, I had missed my period, and took a pregnancy test. It was positive, and I was hysterical. I didn't tell my parents because if I had, Lord knows what would've happened." I paused, seeing that she was taking this all in.

"What did you do?" Lexi murmured, like she was afraid to ask. I took in a deep breath, seeing Nick standing at the doorway, hidden behind the door. I didn't care if he was listening. I've told him this over and over again, cried in his arms about it over and over again.

"Chad dropped me off at the hospital only a few months after I knew I was pregnant. I had an ultrasound done, and it wasn't quite developed yet. I had the money, and my parents never had to know. So, I had an abortion that night." I sucked in a breath, holding it in. Whenever I thought of it, my knees got weak and I almost couldn't bare it. After all of these years. My eyes met Nick's at the door, and then he walked away.

"Did you ever know of it was a girl or boy?" My daughter asked me. Tears came to my eyes, but I didn't want to cry. My gaze met hers for a second and then I looked out the window at the leaves on the trees, waving back and forth. Then I nodded.

"She was a little girl." My tone was barely a broken whisper. I saw a tear slip down her cheek and I wiped it away with my thumb, blinking my own tears back.

"I don't ever want any of that to happen to you. Chad left me, everyone had abandoned me. That will never ever happen to you, and your mama won't let it nearly happen." I gathered her in my embrace, rubbing her back.

"I love you mom. Thank you." She pulled away from me and wiped her eyes with her sleeves.

"I love you too sweetheart. And if you ever think of doing...it....again, I want you to talk to me, okay? Am I happy about it? Not exactly, but I'm not mad I can promise you that." I gave her an assuring smile and put my hand on her knee, squeezing it, before walking out of the room and to find Nick.

I found him in the living room, on his laptop. I sat next to him, putting my arms around him and leaning on his shoulder.

"What's up?" He asked.

"Lots to talk about. What are you doing?" I rested my chin on his shoulder, looking at the screen. The website for Kane's driver's ed was up, and at this age, he could go to the DMV and get his actual license.

"Honey, we talked about this. He drove when we weren't home, and damn well knew he could get pulled over and it wouldn't be good. What are you doing?" I didn't really want to fight.

"Just looking." He scrolled through it and I groaned, storming from the room.

"We need to take Ace to the groomers today!" He called. That's right. I rolled my eyes and grabbed my purse from the counter.

"Kids, let's go!" I shouted to my children. Then I looked around.

"Ace. Come here buddy." I called, ready to put his leash and collar on him. He came right to me and I clipped the collar around his neck.

"We'll be in the car!" I said, taking the dog out to our SUV and putting him in the backseat.

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