Counting down the days until you see that I'm eternally yours...

Chapter 8 | The Fear

"You think I wanted to let go?" you fought the vivid images which he had been conjured in your mind of violence and pain at your expense, those gross, vile creatures cackling in hysteria as they pulled you apart physically, little by little. "You think I wanted to let go? I didn't, but I got scared at the thought of you transporting me back to your world without me knowing that it just-happened. I got scared!"
There was a long forbidding silence which hung in the air, surrounding and suffocating you both for quite some time. JR's expression had morphed into something quite unreadable, something you had not seen before and it worried you a little.

"What if I had transported you back to my world?" JR asked you, his tone of voice monotone.
"I...I don't know..." you stammered, beginning to feel more than a little uneasy. "I would have...asked you to bring me back...I guess..." it was a ridiculous answer and you partly regretted it the moment you had said it.
"And what if I refused to bring you back?" he asked you, and it was a fair question, but it was not one you had expected.
"...as a King, aren't you meant to honour and respect the wishes of other people?" you answered quickly.
"You are quite right," he replied and said no more.

You both continued to levitate above the lake, in silence for some time, both absorbed in your own thoughts. Somehow, even though there was still snow falling, the temperature colder than ever, you had not even noticed it, despite the lack of coat. When you had transported out of your flat that morning, neither of you had been wearing any warm clothing. Perhaps this was something JR had used his magic for too, doing something to the temperature around you both to make things a little more comfortable. It made you wonder just what his magic could and could not do, whether you too would gain these powers, should you accept his offer of being his Queen...but of course, you could not possibly accept...could you?
The looming silence continued and it was beginning to unnerve you now. Your gaze continued to rest upon the lake's surface as you could not bring yourself to look at JR. Deep inside, you knew you had upset him much more than you ever had done before and you were unsure of how he was going to react. If silence was to be your punishment, then you could handle that. You partly wished it would remain that way, or that the tension would break into an awkward laughter so that things could pass and you could both forget about what had just been said.
There was no forgetting though.

"Could you ever love me?" the words were barely audible, but you heard JR whisper them.
"Love is...a strong emotion..." you flippantly replied, glancing up at him and regretting it instantly, guilt enveloping you whole as you saw the expression upon his face.
"Maybe I ask too much of you, but I cannot do this on my own," he was practically pleading now, his voice wavering and his eyes watering. "I need you more than you realise and perhaps it is selfish for me to ask you to do this for me, but if not for me, please, think of my Kingdom, of my people. All of it belongs to you also, should you choose to accept it, as returning to Aranthi does not just mean becoming my Queen, it means helping to rule and watch over the realm. It means to help others, to help those less fortunate, to create happiness in the darkest of places, to help the kingdom thrive. It means-it means so much more."
"It is frightening," he continued, taking a deep breath, "Perhaps it is a feat you do not feel you can accomplish, but you will not be alone," he moved his hands gently down from your shoulders to your hands, squeezing them gently. "I will not ever leave your side. I will always keep on trying to do right by you, because what you think, what you say, what you feel, it all matters. If I was not in such a predicament, I would have respected your wishes and left long ago, but I need you, and only you. You have within you so much greatness, a greatness which only you were born with and only you can accomplish." He took one of your hands and placed it upon his chest.
"My heart is heavy, burdened with far too much which I cannot carry alone. You are much stronger than I am, believe me when I say that. All of which you have witnessed and become exposed to these past days has been shocking and troublesome, but even though you are so frightened that you cannot separate all of your thoughts and emotions clearly, you have managed to push through. That is true strength, true courage and true bravery," he forced a smile and you instantly saw through it.
"We all feel frightened from time to time," his voice faltered even more and it was taking all of your self-control to not react to his overflowing emotions. "Right now, I can understand your fears well, but know that I am equally as fearful of all that is happening. Our fates have been thrown together at such great speed that we cannot hold steady. We are spiralling out of control, but if we only trusted one another, we could make sense of things more. If we trusted one another whole heartedly, we could accomplish so much more." He raised your hands to his lips, planting a kiss gently upon them as he held them there.
"So I ask you, one more time," you watched as he closed his eyes, a tear rolling down his face and landing upon your hand, "Could you ever love me?"

Silence.