BEFORE READING
if you haven't caught up, JE stands for "Journal Entry." when a chapter is tagged with those initials, that just means that i'm basically pouring out my thoughts and feelings to the public. Journal Entries are different from Rants, however. With rants, i would usually write about topics I have opinions on and would like to hear from your point of view. Journal Entries, however, are basically like Dear Diary and shit, and it's my way of dealing with my emotions and how I contemplate on certain topics. Some of these entries are also straight from my past journals that I just wanted to make public because I can and I want to??? Hopefully you understand the gist of that, kapeesh??
~mae
DEDICATION
to the idol that this entry is meant for. you've inspired me so much in a short amount of time, thank you for that x.
• • •
Dear Marina,
Or should I start with 'Dear Marina Lambrini Diamandis?' It seems to formal, yes, but your name is just as euphoric as your lovely self.
Most people would say they wouldn't know where to start when doing this kind of thing with someone that has affected their life so much. I'm part of that population, and I'm only writing that because it makes me sound so much smarter, haha.
Oh please, cue in the 'sincerely' part now.
Train of thought crashes, whoop whoop! I have no idea where I'm going with this, to be honest, and if I were to send this letter to you at the moment, it'd probably arrive 72838 months later, and you'd probably read it about here and just laugh at how disgustingly awkward I am. Yes, I do insult myself a lot, but not as much now because of you.
I'd only 'discovered' you and your euphoric music back in July 2016 (I know you've been existing since 2012). I know, it's astonishing that you're still garnering fans even if you're in hiatus (that is what I'm assuming you are in the time you are reading this letter, if you ever. why do I assume that you're going to read this?). In all honesty, I discover most of my celebrity idols when they're in hiatus, or they're dead (fuck, that was some dark shit). Going back on track with this damned letter, it was just one fateful day for me, and my friend had kept bugging me to listen to you because I would fall in love with you.
That said, I thought about giving you a try with my friend considering listening to Foxes (you know, she toured with you in the Lonely Hearts Club tour? Yes, I know this shite, I'm a fucking stan!). We'd agreed to listen to each other's recommendations and started right off the bat with the FROOT album. Probably should've started with The Family Jewels since that's where you first started in the road to becoming one of the most iconic Alt-Pop artists of this generation. I eventually went to TFJ and downloaded all the songs there first, FROOT being second, and the last being Electra Heart.
It wasn't an instant click, I'll have to tell you that. Since I was so new to the Alternative genre, I didn't know what to think about the songs. When I looked at my Apple Music history, I discovered that my first song I listened to was "I'm A Ruin." The intro was a bit awkward for me, at first, because I didn't listen to electropop. I was listening to the likes of Adele, Amy Winehouse, Sam Smith, and other jazzy and soulful artists (I still do!) at the time.
I started growing more fond of you with Electra Heart, but The Family Jewels is where I started falling in love. The playful and honest lyrics made me laugh and finally get some sense of relation between you and I. You became that one cool aunt that relates to me so much. Surprisingly though, The Family Jewels is not my favourite album you.
