Alexis:
Pain.
There’s a different kind of pain
Pain from skinned knees as a child
Pain over your first heartbreak
Pain from the first cut you’ve ever made
The whole “the first cut is the deepest” bullshit isn’t true. The first cut is the most painful.
The last cut is the deepest. Using the littlest bits of strength you have left to exit from the world. The last cut is your last goodbye to this place.
I sat down in my bathroom tub cutting as deep as I could. By the time the bathroom door flung opened it became blurry, everything was fading. I heard my mom scream “call 911” and that was it.
I woke up that night in the hospital bed wishing I didn’t. I asked the nurse where I was, and why I was here.
“You tried to commit suicide sweetheart, but you’re going to be okay.”
It sucks you know? I failed my own suicide.
I’m going to be okay? Bullshit. I just tried to commit suicide lady do you really think I’m going to be okay?
But I guess every nurse has to say that. They have to say something that will make it seem like everything will be okay, but it never really is.
Calum:
Pull the trigger.
The gun was nothing like the fake ones I used to play with as kid. It was much heavier, and shinier.
I know my dad would get mad at me for taking his gun out of the safe, but it would be to late to yell at me.
The voices in my head were taking over.
Pull it. Pull the trigger. Just do it.
At the moment I pointed to my heart, and pulled the trigger.
BOOM.
How stupid of me.
My heart was still in one. The bullet had just passed it.
How unlucky of me.
i remember seeing blood, blood everywhere. Maybe I could have bled to death.
Or maybe if the bullet just hit my fucking heart I wouldn’t of had to worry about this.
I didn’t even remember anything else except the blood all over my carpet.
I woke up that night in the hospital bed, all hooked up. I could hear the monitor beeping and I wished it had stopped. I wanted to see the lines going up and down become straight.
YOU ARE READING
Pain || Calum Hood
FanfictionAs I entered the hospital and noticed the bandage on your wrists and how the bandage was stained red. I sat down beside you and saw all the scars covering your arm, then realized how many times you needed someone, and how many times I could have bee...