Terra and Darcy Reenact Llames With Hats

Stabbed 37 Times

So...wow. I'm...actually really happy at the response this is getting. Thanks everyone!

Disclaimer: I own Terra and Darcy. Nothing else is mine. Okay, maybe some of the words are mine, but not ALL of them.

==TADRLWH==

"The following events are entirely fake. Though...that's not to say we didn't let some truth slip in there."

Lights shined on Terra and Darcy. Terra was glaring at Darcy, hands on her hips and looking very disapproving. Darcy was staring down at the space between them, a quirky grin on her face.

Team Nine watched with hesitance. They only knew Darcy for a short time, it didn't bode well. Team Ten and Eleven knew Darcy better. They knew to be afraid.

The TV showed Terra and Darcy standing in front of a brutally murdered dead body.

"Carl! There is a dead human in our house!" Exclaimed Terra.

Darcy was smiling innocently. "Oh...hey...How did he get here?" Darcy asked, innocently.

"Caaaarl, what did you do?!" Terra asked dramatically.

"Me?" Darcy scoffed, too loudly to be innocent. Her hands went to her chest, an incredulous look on her face. "Uh, I didn't do this!"

"Explain what happened, Carl!" Terra ordered in a panic.

"I've never seen him before in my life!" Darcy excused, turning her nose up at both the body and Terra. She crossed her arms over her chest for emphasis.

Terra did not believe her. "Why did you kill this person, Carl?" Asked Terra sternly.

"I do not kill people. That is." The assassin shook her head, not believing her own lie. "That is my least favorite thing to do." A few of the companions and River snorted at the obvious lie.

The Time Lady gave her a level stare. "Tell me, Carl, exactly what you were doing before I came home." She ordered impatiently.

"Alright, well...I was upstairs-" Darcy began

Terra nodded. "Okay."

Darcy glanced around the room, anywhere except the dead body. "I was uh...I was sitting in my room-"

"Yes?"

"Reading a book-"

"Sure. Go on."

Amy and Rory laughed a little, though stopped when Eleven came them a look. Mickey hid his grin. They always loved it when Terra and Darcy argued.

The assassin looked down at the body again. "And, uh, well this guy walked in-" She motioned to the corpse.

Terra made a face that read 'we're getting somewhere'. "Okay."

"So, I went up to him-"

"Yes."

"And I...I stabbed him. Thirty-seven times. In the chest." Finished Darcy, innocently.

The Doctors and companions stared at Darcy with...with shock. It's the way to describe it. Maybe horror. Maybe a bit of dark humor, in some of the more murder-y (wink wink Jack and River (also no I'm not flirting with either of you!)) companions. The Doctors were a bit angry, glaring at Darcy for daring to make them watch this with their superior eyes!

Terra had the best reaction out of any of them. "Caaaaaaaaaaaaarl, that KILLS people!" Shouted her very annoyed sister.

"Oh!" Darcy gasped, stupidly. Though it was obvious she was faking for her sister's sake. "Well, I didn't know that!"

Her hand raised to pinch the bridge of Terra's nose. "How could you not know that?!" She asked in a long, tired whine.

Darcy shrugged, face scrunched up in an awkward smile. "Yeah, I'm in the wrong here. I suck." She gave a curt nod. She was staring down at the dead body. The awkward smile turned fond.

River and Jack were laughing loudly now.

The Doctors were even starting to crack smiles.

Well, until Terra spoke again. "What happened to his hands?"

Darcy's head snapped to her sister, blinking in confusion. "What's that?"

Terra pointed down at the cartoon body's bloody wrists. "His hands." She repeated. Rose noticed her voice was rising, as if some horrible ideas were coming to Terra. "Why-why are they missing? This isn't Veggietales, Carl, people are supposed to have hands!"

"Oh god, I don't even want to know." Martha groaned, facepalming.

"Why do I get the feeling she's about to say something awful?" Rory asked Amy.

"Cause she is." Mickey answered, having heard the question.

"Well, I kind of umm...cooked them up. And ate them." The assassin answered, happily. It was the same disinterested voice someone used when saying 'oh I ate the last of your favorite cereal sorry-not sorry'.

"That's pretty bad, yeah." Rory blanched.

The Doctors were disgusted. This was someone Terra called a best friend? Someone who ate hands?

"Caaaaaaaaaarl!" Terra whined melodramatically.

Darcy shrugged nonchalantly. "Well, I-I was hungry. And well, you know, when you crave hands-"

To be honest, the companions were laughing again.

Terra ran her hand over her face. "Why on earth would you do that?!" She shouted up at the sky.

"I was hungry for hands!" Darcy shrugged off, with a dramatic roll of her eyes. "Gimme a break!"

"Caaaaaarl!" Terra sighed. She pulled her red hat down over her face to hide her own smile.

Darcy smirked, teasingly at Terra. "My stomach was making the rumblies."

"Caarl!"

Her smirk turned devilish. "That only hands would satisfy."

"That's sick!" Donna cried out. "Who would eat hands?"

"I've seen aliens eat people, but never just their hands!" Rory added. Though, it clear if he was trying to reassure Donna or agree with Donna.

"We've all seen that, Rory." River commented, smiling in that knowing way that had all the Doctors drooling (though they'd never admit it to their respective companions).

"What is wrong with you, Carl?!" Terra shouted.

"What's right with her's a shorter list." Jack snarked.

The two pseudo actresses snorted onstage. It sent a chain reaction to all the Doctors and the companions.

Darcy was still laughing as she delivered the final line. "Well, I kill people and I eat hands! That's-that's two things!"

Soft music played as the lights cut off.

==TADRLWH==

AN: Tada! Don't expect fast updates. This was a miracle, in of itself.

Also sorry if it sucked or didn't meet your standards! (There's just no pleasing some people!)