More Than Just Lovers (Book 2)

12. Memory

Except, when I went to let go, I couldn't. At first, I couldn't understand, but then the realization hit me. Kyle was squeezing my hand back.

I raised my gaze to his face. His eyes were still closed and he looked like he was still sleeping, except I knew him too well. He looked like he was trying to wake himself up.

"Jay, come on," Josh said from the doorway, not noticing what I was seeing. "He'll still be here tomorrow. Leo's waiting for us."

I shook my head, but couldn't seem to form the words to say what was stopping me from leaving. So I did the next best thing. Leaning over, I placed my lips against his, and rather than the lifelessness that had filled them before, Kyle actually kissed me back.

"Kyle?" I gasped, backing my face away from his. Please tell me I'm not just imagining this.

~Kyle

There was pressure in my hand, like someone was holding it, and I could hear a voice saying something, although I didn't catch the words - the constant beeping noise in the background too overbearing of a sound. I didn't know where I was or what had happened. I didn't think I would be able to open my eyes to find out. They were just too heavy.

Something soft brushed against my lips. I recognized what it was immediately - someone was kissing me. I kissed them back, gently, automatically, but they were gone in an instant and replaced by the soft sound of "Kyle?"

My eyes fluttered open then - finally - and I stared at the beautiful man standing on my left. He looked worn out and tired, a five o'clock shadow along his jaw line and worry lines running across his forehead. I had no clue who he was.

"Wh-" I tried saying, but my voice cracked and my my throat hurt just from trying. What had happened to me?

The man held out a small cup of water and I was grateful, drinking it all as quickly as I could manage. When the cup was empty, my throat felt a bit better and I handed the cup back to the man, who was not alone anymore. A second beautiful man stood next to him - much shorter, and didn't look quite as tired, but he did look like he was about to cry at any moment. They were almost touching each other, like they were a couple. But that didn't help place them at all. I didn't think I had any gay friends. And I had no idea why I was even finding them beautiful. Was I gay, too? I think so.

They were giving me a weird look, one I wished I could identify. I looked back and forth between them for a moment before the shorter one spoke.

"Hi," he said, smiling. "How are you feeling?"

I shook my head. His voice sort of sounded familiar, but I still couldn't figure out where I knew it from. "I don't know who you are." My voice was still hoarse, but at least I was able to get words out this time.

Both of their faces fell immediately and I felt bad for causing them pain like that. "You really don't know who we are?" the taller one asked. I shook my head again. "I'm Jackson. That's Josh. Kyle, is anything coming back to you?"

"What happened?" I asked, ignoring his question because I couldn't give him the answer he obviously wants. "Where am I?"

The one that was called Josh answered this time. "There was a... an accident. You're in the hospital."

His voice wavered as he spoke, and I wondered why, although I felt like I should know why, so I didn't ask. It probably had to do with whatever accident there was. Instead, I asked a different question, another one I should know, but this one was really bugging me. "Are you two gay?" They looked at each other with expressions I couldn't read. "Sorry, I just..." I hesitated, not knowing what to say. "Assumed?"

"We are together," Jackson answered after a moment, putting his arm around Josh's waist. It was then that I noticed the matching wedding bands on their fingers. "You don't remember?"

The other man pulled Jackson a couple steps back to talk to him quietly, although I managed to catch some of what he said. "...common sometimes... give it time... I'll call Leo..."

Were they talking about why I couldn't remember? Would I get my memories back? How long until that happened though? And who was Leo? Should I know that person?

After a moment, Josh left the room, leaving only Jackson in here with me. He dragged the chair over and sat down next to the bed. "Does the name Leo mean anything to you?" he asked me, staring down at his clasped hands in his lap.

I shook my head. "I know the other man just mentioned his name, but that's it."

"What about Ashley and Logan?"

I felt guilty for having to say no again. So I changed the topic. "How do we know each other?"

He took a deep breath, lifting his gaze to meet mine. "We met in college. You lived in the room next to mine and Leo's." There was that name again. I guess he was a good friend if I've known him as long as I've known Jackson. "The three of us became quick friends, being freshman year and none of us knowing anyone else. Josh went to the same college, and he was actually in one of your classes, and you two did homework together sometimes. Eventually, Josh joined our group and the four of us have pretty much been inseparable since."

There was a knock on the door and it slowly opened. I expected to see another face I didn't recognize, but instead, I was thrilled to see someone I knew, without a doubt. "Freddy," I said, smiling.

Jackson let out a small sigh. "So you remember him, but not us?" He said it under his breath, so I doubted I was supposed to hear it. I let it drop, wanting instead to focus on my best friend that I did remember.

Freddy came around the other side of the bed. "Look who's finally awake, dude. I chose a good day to come visit. Good thing I was in the area today." He chuckled, then glanced over at Jackson. "And good thing I didn't walk in on you two going at it over here. How long's it been?"

I looked between them, confused. Did he just say what I thought he said? "What? Why would we do that? Isn't he married to Josh?"

Freddy's eyes got wide. "Oh shit, dude. You don't remember?"

I shook my head before looking at Jackson. Someone kissed me earlier, before I was fully awake. He was the only one here when I did open my eyes. Did that mean...? "Have we... uh, I don't want to come off as weird with this, but... have we ever had sex?" He nodded. "While you were with Josh?"

"It's really complicated," Jackson said, hesitantly. Freddy only looked amused, as if he already knew this.

Oh god. I willingly participated in a love affair between two of my supposed closest friends and my other best friend knew about it. How could I do that? What kind of person was I?

The door opened again and another man I didn't recognize walked in. He, too, was beautiful, tall with red hair and a short beard that really looked good on him. He walked up next to Jackson and smiled at me.

"It's good to see your eyes, love," he said, then leaned over and pressed his lips against my forehead.

I just stared at him. Who was this man? Were he and I together? Then why would I even consider doing things with Jackson, when we both had other men in our lives? I honestly had no idea who I was anymore. At least I figured out that I definitely am gay.

"Leo," Jackson warned. "Didn't Josh tell you? He doesn't remember us."

Leo. This was Leo. One of the four us who have been 'inseparable' since we met. Is that what he meant by inseparable? He and Josh got together and Leo and I got together? But then cheating must have somehow gotten involved. And it didn't look like everyone was aware.

I looked at the man who had just come in. "Leo?" I questioned, getting his attention. He needed to know this. I couldn't keep the truth from him. "I think I'm cheating on you."