Cheshire | Sequel to Home

Chapter 5: Shameless

April 2024

Present

With lips parted and eyes wide open I run the wand back and forth across my lashes making sure to reach each one of them and leaving them as black as possible. I don't think I have ever been this focused while applying mascara but, right now, it seems like the perfect distraction and excuse to avoid Amy's persistent interrogation.

"So?" she insists.

"So what?" I ask bluntly, my eyes still fixed on my reflection in the mirror.

Amy's shoulders fall in a dramatic way in sync with a loud huff, "Is it a date or not?" She demands.

I twist the mascara close, leave it on the vanity and blink my eyes a couple of times before turning to her, "We are only going to have dinner, we have things to discuss and you need to chill a bit," I explain again. Truth is, I don't even know if this is a date, a gathering, a meeting or whatever. I still don't know where we stand.

"Hey!" She exclaims offended, "I've been chilling a lot lately, the least I expect is for you to acknowledge it!"

I can't deny that she has indeed been amazing these past few days. She hasn't asked anything when a week ago I showed up in her doorway in the middle of the night - with Archie half asleep in my arms - my eyes filled with tears and begging for shelter. I owe her so much.

She knows this isn't a moment for questions, is a moment to let me be. To respect my silence because nothing ever hurt this way. I doubt she ever saw me this shattered. That's why she's not pushing me to know more, she's waiting - in the best way she can- for me to talk.

I stand up smiling, "You are the best and I love you, " I state while squeezing her shoulder.

Her left eyebrow raises, "You look very nice for 'only dinner to discuss things'," she says folding her arms over her chest and tilting her chin in my direction.

I'm wearing a simple short black dress - the only piece of clothing that doesn't scream mom of the few I managed to bring to Amy's- and yes, I'm wearing makeup, but that's about it.

"Am I supposed to go out in my sweatpants to dinner?!" My rhetoric question makes her smirk.

"I wouldn't know what kids do these days, I'm rusty on the dating game," she jokes with a wink of her eye.

"I'm going to check on Archie, H will be here any moment now," I say walking past her and ignoring her comment.

Archie breathes softly hinting he is sound asleep when I step into his room. His arms are raised framing his head and he has already managed to push the covers away from his body like every single night. He finally spent a whole day free of fever but he was still tired and moody. Looking at him, I can't help but remember when he was a newborn and I wanted to wake him up from his sleep all the time. It was as if I couldn't get enough of him, I wanted to cuddle him, to kiss him, to have him in my arms, to watch him smile at the sound of my voice. That feeling faded rather fast and I started realizing the moments where he was asleep were supposed to be cherished.

But tonight he seems so innocent, so harmless that I wish I could wake him up to assure him, once again, that I love him and that I would do anything for him. I'm tucking him again under his covers and kissing his forehead softly when I hear the doorbell.

I feel it.

My heart leaps, making three turns in the air before settling heavily back on my chest. Taking a deep breath to gather at least a hint of air and hoping for some self-control, I walk downstairs.