her.

no one's going to read this but oh well

Title says it all really. For some reason, i feel better writing down my feelings about her and releasing them, just incase some one actually wants to read it. I wanted to do this because i feel like i have to say something about her, because she is so important to me. Now, older people would probably laugh down at me and just say I'm a lovestruck teenager, but if that's who i am then ok then call me it as much as you want.
  Now, i don't really know what it's like to be in love. Am i in love now with her? Probably not...But i do love her. So much. She's special to me, and if i don't end up getting together with her in the future, I'll most certainly remember her. I'll remember everything about her, and the way she made me feel inside.
I told her how i feel about her, and she also said she likes me, but we can't do anything about it. Which, again, hurts a lot. And you could say I'm scared. I'm scared that she'll see someone, and the feelings she has towards me will disintegrate and she'll fall for someone who she can actually see, touch, kiss, hold their hand, all that couple crap. And I'll be jealous. Extremely jealous. Because the feelings I have for this girl are unbelievable. They're so strong and so unique, and knowing that she'd be sharing those feelings she once had for me with someone else will kill me. My little, cheesy lovestruck heart will be crushed and broken, until I eventually find someone else to fall for. And I'm not one of those people who can easily crush hard on someone. I haven't had many crushes in my life, so you can see why this one means a lot to me.
    I guess you could say that she'll always mean a lot to me. My first ever BIG crush. Honestly, I think it's more than a crush. The feelings I have for her are so much more than that to be called a "crush". Do I love her? Yes, of course I do. I'm not in love with her though, it's much too early for that. But yes, I do love her. And she loves me. Which makes me feel amazing. Special. Just knowing someone has fallen for me, makes me feel some type of way.
    Now I'm just going to obsess over her, because in the words of Radiohead, I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo. Oh great, Ed Sheeran's song "Friends" has come on. It may not completely relate to my situation, but it still has the same message. Me and this girl, we'll never truly be just friends. We've had a deep connection that I don't think will ever leave us. But then again, if we're not friends
"Someone else might love you too, and then again, if we're not friends, there'd be nothing I could do." Relatable. Anyway, back to the original subject. So, let's put it this way, she is one of the most beautiful people I have ever known. Inside and out. She is just so so so so beautiful. The way she thinks about everything, the way she does things, the way she just thinks in general, is so special and uniquely beautiful. She may not be the academically smartest person ever, but honestly, I don't give a single crap about that.  Who gives a shit about whether someone can work out x + 3y = 1092?! Or whether someone can intelligently analyse a poem from the 19th century? Not me. And no one should. If you do, well done, you're an ass.
   Don't mean to be cheesy/cliché/cringe worthy (although, I think this whole thing is), but she is so damn cute. Adorable, even. Her voice, her smile. Her smile is so contagious. It can light up the world. Her eyes are so beautiful, you could get lost in them. Her accent is so adorable, even though she hates it. She is so beautiful, even though she thinks she's ugly. She's so smart about the world, her general thoughts, even though she thinks she's thick and stupid. I think she's incredible, even if she thinks she's not.
    I wonder if she thinks about me all the time like I do. She probably doesn't, I'm just a person who, once they like someone, goes through this whole lovey phase that I can't get out of for ages. I just pray to God she never read it. If she does, hi, I'm not a creep i swear. But i don't think she'll figure out it's me, this username is just ridiculous.