Her ✓ ➢ c.s

16-Baby Bumps.

  I haven't had her yet. It's as if god is actually waiting for me to give birth until Cole wakes up. It's been another two weeks, and they just performed another surgery on him yesterday. They said he should wake up soon. Hopefully. But I mustn't be too certain.

   I've felt more alone than ever before, after dissing my so called 'friends' after catching them smoking weed together. I realize I'm a judge mental person, but this was out of line.

  Now I sit, unable to get out of my bed. Pretty soon I'm going to go into labor with no one in sight to help me out of this bed. Wonderful.

"Here are your eggs," my mom enters my bed room with a plate of food, "I'm going out to lunch with Randy, so watch your brother."

"I can't exactly watch Calen. Also, I don't eat eggs anymore, or animals. These are chicken abortions and it's nasty," I exclaim, wanting to throw up by the smell of them.

"Seriously? Well you're going to have to try to get up soon. You can make yourself a bagel, or have Calen do it."

I groan as she leaves the room, then lie on my bed for a few more minutes. After a long time, my diary has came to mind. So I pull it out of my night stand drawer on the side of my bed and start to read it.

I had this diary before I bought my other one. I ended up using all the pages before finishing anything I wanted to say.

I don't remember ever sharing this diary entry. But it makes me smile just reading it.

October 4th

Dear FUCKING diary,

I hate my life. First of all, what the fuck kind of name is Arlington Hills? I'm currently laying in my unpacked room writing this, furious about going to school tomorrow. Anyways, the people in this town already seem creepy and really personal. I don't know his name, but all he does is sit on his roof and smoke cigarettes. Yes, he is hot. But I'm seriously waiting for him to creep in my room a rape me.

October 5th

  Hey again Diary

  So I had school today. And a lot has happened. Remember that creepy guy I told you about? Well, we bumped into each other today in the hallway. Really unfortunate, it's as if he like planned it. Anyways, it turns out his name is Cole Sprouse. He seemed TOTALLY interesting until I heard how disrespectful he was towards the teachers, and worst of all he offered me a cigarette. So I'm right, nothing is going right so far.

October 6th

  Hello Diary

  Okay, I didn't realize how STUPID I am until today. For some reason I always fill guilty whenever I freak out on someone. So today I went up to Cole and basically asked him to come hang out with me at my house. The conversation was really CHEESY and awkward. Things escalated, we made out.. THAT SOON. Don't get mad at me, I'm just a stupid obsessive teenager.

October 7th

Hey again

Remember how I said things ESCALATED? Well, now they've really escalated. I thought about him all night, only to have him pick me up in the morning. Instead of going to school he took me to this grassy field were we basically tolled sob stories and told each other how much we like one an other.