The Art of Living

[54] Rather Sooner Than Later

"I'm trying.." She smiled a little, keeping her eyes on Brian. "Thanks, Mary, I really appreciate it."

"You're definitely always welcome, Ellie, anytime. Can I ask you something? You don't have to answer it though."

"Oh, go for it, definitely."

Mary crossed her legs and looked at her, smiling when she saw where Ellie was looking. "Have you two had sex again already?"

"No.." Ellie shook her head. "We... uhm, made out a couple of times Friday night, like, really. Once, at least. On my couch, and I was on his lap and... it got quite intense actually, but that's it.."

"What's that like? I mean.. You know what he looks like naked and how he is in bed, and he knows what you look like naked and how you are in bed, but you're... you're .. I don't know, you two seem so innocent and maybe even a little shy to touch each other.."

"It's really weird, I know.. But like, I want to.. I don't know, I want to do it somewhat properly, even though we both agreed that we are really not doing anything the conventional way. But honestly, I'm... I know that's going to sound silly coming from me, but I'm nervous."

"Nervous? About having sex with him? But you know what that's like, don't you..?"

Ellie shrugged. "In a way, I guess. I know what it's like to have a fun meaningless night with him - it's great, by the way - but I don't know how to ... you know, it's actually going to mean something. And I don't know if I'm any good at that, meaningful sex. It makes me really nervous, because it's so different. I think it will be very different. Does that make sense? It's one thing knowing that it's just a fun thing for the night and that it doesn't really matter what you do because it's just one night, but it seems like a completely different thing doing it with your boyfriend if you both really care about each other. Because everything you do matters.."

"Honestly, I think personally that having sex with your boyfriend is completely different from a meaningless one night stand, but also feels a ton better. I get that you're nervous, and I'm not going to tell you to rush into anything. Just let it happen naturally. And to be honest, I don't think Brian would mind hearing how you feel. If you're comfortable with telling him that. I think he would really appreciate it."

"I know, and I am going to tell him, but it just feels so strange. Like.. sex is the one thing I'm good at with guys, and now..."

"You know, it's still going to be the same activity. You're going to do the same stuff and, you know, it's still sex and if you know how to make a guy feel great, I don't think Brian will have a problem with that. It's just that there's more happening around that. Do you know what I mean?"

Ellie nodded. "Yeah.. You're right. I don't know, I never looked at that way, as stupid as that probably sounds. Maybe it will even be a good thing that we've had sex before. We know what we look like naked, and also already a little bit what the other person likes.. You're right. I really am very weird, right?" Ellie chuckled a little and sighed. "Oh well."

"You're not weird, it seems like a perfectly reasonable thing to think. And it's not like that would be the first time we talked about sex, so don't worry," she chuckled. "Just let it happen naturally and you'll see what I mean. Sex it's always - well, almost always great but with the right person it's beyond words."

Ellie couldn't help but smile. "I'm really curious if it really is so much better like everybody says."

"Just wait and see," Mary smirked. "I'm sure that whenever you're ready Brian will be ready."

"Oh yeah," Ellie laughed softly. "I could probably drag him off into the bathroom now and he wouldn't mind."

Mary chuckled. "You're not going to?"

Ellie shook her head. "No.. Actually I kind of want something.. conventional. In bed, with a lot of time, you know?"

"Yes, I know. I think that's good. You can always drag him off into the bathroom when you're at that point where you can't keep your hands off each other."

Ellie laughed softly. "Yeah.. That's a good idea." She paused for a moment before she added, "I was thinking it might be part of his birthday present.."

"What?" Mary laughed a little. "Well, when is his birthday? Can you wait that long? "

"That's exactly what I'm thinking... It's only two weeks from now, but just look at him.. How am I supposed to control myself for two more weeks with him looking so incredible? I know it's ridiculous, because two weeks isn't long, but... Then I think about how much has happened in the past two weeks and it seems like forever and I don't really want to wait forever, you know?"

"When you put it like that, it makes sense. But still. I don't think you should plan it. If it feels right, let it happen. Maybe it's just me but I find planning sex a little strange, especially in a relationship, which in this case is what you two qualify as. Just let it happen."

"Okay, I will. If for some weird reason we haven't done it yet on his birthday, then I'm gonna try to let it happen though. But to be honest, I'm quite certain it will happen before."

"As creepy as that might sound, you're probably right," Mary chuckled. "You know I'm always here to listen to you. Anything, and at almost anytime.."

•••••••••

Sorry about the long wait for this chapter again, but I finally finished all my classes and then my phone died and now I'm without internet most of the time because I'm not home but I finally managed to find the time to proofread a chapter and have internet so here you are. There's still a lot to come, I've had time to write a little more so I haven't forgotten about this. 

Also, I will reply to your comments when I'm back home and have more time and internet, but thank you for still sticking with this story and I hope you're still enjoying what those two are up to :)