Brighter Days (Kris Bryant)

This Great Divide

Jake

I was watching a horror movie. Only the movie was my life and the antagonist was me and I just... royally messed things up. I thought I was over it. I thought I was done missing her and feeling awful every time we made eye contact. Little Gwen was bound to make an entrance at some point and Hanna and I were patiently waiting for her arrival into the world, but I still missed Valor.

Sometimes I catch myself trying to remember what it felt like to have her in my embrace. Or how soft her skin was no matter where I left kisses. Her forehead was my favorite spot, hands down. It was because I could feel her huge smile, the smile she only made for me. I made her happy, and she could never do me any harm... and I blew it. It was only almost a year ago that I last had her all to myself, with Hanna secretly in tow. I must have felt like a real hot shot, getting to be with the both of them. I am literally the ultimate douche lord, complete with a fat helping of asshat and let's not forget home wrecker for dessert.

I was a physical manifestation of pure self loathing. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror anymore, and I didn't want Hanna's tenderness or forgiveness. She knew I was still in love with Valor and that I felt I had made a huge mistake.

"Heeeey," I smiled awkwardly at everyone.

"Hey honey," Mama sighed happily. She had all of her kids with her so I was spared her usual indifference toward me.

"Come on inside before you all freeze," Papa smiled kindly.

I'm sure he hated me as much as I hated myself, but sometimes I think back to the night we spent out at the boat house right after Valor had finally moved to Chicago and the conversation we had.

"She is going to ruin you boy," he spoke grimly.

"How so?" I took a swig of beer.

"She will make sure she finds someone who is ten times the man that you are, and she'll make it her mission to be her happiest without you," Papa answered.

"I deserved that," I nodded.

"Don't mistake my kindness for sympathy. There are a lot of things I wish I could say to you, but that ain't the James way. I'll just leave it at that," he finished.

Papa was right. I knew he was. As I made my way up the steps with Hanna I caught a glimpse of Valor and Kris through the window. I knew all about him, I didn't forget about baseball after I graduated from high school. If he managed to get under Valor's skin in a good way this quickly and make her forget all about me, then he already won. Valor didn't give her heart away that easily. What broke me was the way she looked at him. Like she had found the love of her life. I felt like I was watching a perfect scene through a snow globe, one that was impossible to shatter no matter how hard I shook it.

Everett was sitting on the couch when we got inside and Melon jumped right into my arms. It all felt awkward. I wanted to hug him and pet him but I felt like it wasn't my right anymore.

"You of all people know he doesn't bite," Valor smiled.

Was she okay? Her smile didn't look fake so she had to be okay. She normally fought herself not to talk to me and now she's fine with it. I shook it off and settled for running my fingers through Melon's plush fur and gave him a kiss on top of his head.

"Come let me rub your belly," she urged Hanna.

Hanna missed her like if a piece of her own heart was missing. She cried every day for Valor and there was nothing I could do to console her. So when Valor met her halfway in the big living room she couldn't help but cry as her belly was being spoiled by rubs and kisses.

"I'm sorry, it's just the whole pregnancy thing," she sobbed.

"I missed you too," Valor laughed through tears as she came up and hugged Hanna.

This was the woman I had fell so in love with, the one that I thought I was going to marry. It was all of these qualities about her that I ignored because I was so bothered by the fact that she gave me everything but her virginity. I didn't understand it, I was a dumb kid when I started sleeping with Hanna. And she was dumb for wanting me.

"You guys this is Kris, my boyfriend," she beamed happily.

"Well hello, we watched you win the World Series," Hanna giggled as she waddled over for a hug.

"Congratulations on your baby, she's gonna be a good looking kid between the two of you," he looked over at me.

There was not a single mean bone in this guy's body. It made my blood boil.

"Thanks man," I nodded.

Everything else that evening carried on so smoothly. Even Everett was in a good mood, and that was still hard to believe. I had to get out of there as soon as I could so when we finally got to go home I was thankful.

"You miss her," Hanna spoke dryly.

"I do," I admitted.

I helped her unfold the sheets to our bed and hopped in.

"You have to let go eventually Jake. We're not kids anymore. You're going to be a father whether you're ready or not, so get your act together."

I shot up out of bed without explanation and ran for the front door. She didn't bother to come after me, or she was too pregnant to care it didn't really matter. I hid behind a tree and just let gravity do what it needed to. The endless tears came gushing out, the air cold enough to strangle my breaths. My heart felt like it was going to give out and I was overwhelmed with complete sorrow. This was my life now. And as I stood there crying until the tears wouldn't come anymore, all I could think about was Kris bundled up warmly with Valor safe in his arms. All I could see was him kissing her forehead.

My favorite spot.

A note from me to you:
All I'm gonna say is that Chris Wood is one of my favorites and he was the first person I thought of when I was looking for someone to model Jake after! There's so much more to come you guys!