The Script

Chapter I: The Unknowing

Natasha Rose:

Everyone thought it would be me. I have to admit even I thought I would be the one who would end up like this in the beginning. The future would be locked and sealed, definite, they would say. My family has never been the best. Yet they took me to her funeral. My best friend. Not the best friend you go shopping with and share secrets. No, no; we were much more than that. We dug way down deep and told each other feelings we never even knew we had. We were going to plan our future, follow the script we wrote ourselves. But this feeling was never mentioned. No one saw it coming. Did I bring up unwanted feelings? Was our script not enough? Did something happen in the few hours we were apart? I may never know. Everything seems to be kept a secret nowadays. Especially after she .......... left. Now it's not my fate that's sealed--it's hers. Her life went off-script, even after she was off-book, knowing every detail of what she wanted her future to be. And now it will never make it to the screens.

As we entered the church, I observed her family, going through ten tissue packs a minute, an ocean forming at their feet. My family was reserved to sit next to hers. Her recent ex-boyfriend was sitting in the front row, and my seat was next to his. She dumped him only a few hours before her said untimely death. My friend may have been secretive, but she was never one to be selfish. That doesn't mean he or I feel guilty any less.

"Hey, Nat," he said, ruining my thought process.

"I don't feel like talking," I responded, looking straight ahead as to not see the pain in his eyes that was already hidden in mine, about to be discovered.

"Come on, we're both under a lot of guilt here. I just need someone to talk to who understands."

"Like you understand me."

"She seemed so upset when she broke up with me."

"Yeah, well I didn't know okay!" I burst. Everyone halfway across America probably heard me.

"Why don't we go talk somewhere else?"

"That wouldn't be such a bad idea," I said.

He led me to the lounge room, the "room with a view."

"Look, I don't think Al-" he started.

"Don't say her name!" I interrupted, not wanting to have my brain come to terms.

"You haven't talked to anyone for days. Your mother even told me she was worried about you."

"My mother wouldn't know the first thing about me if she even tried."

"Well, she's not the only one who's worried. You've gone back to your old habits."

"And you think I would do this?! Fine, I'll directly talk to you so we're clear. I have not spoken to anyone in days, Nathaniel March, because I am shocked and more guilty than you are. I have been trading secrets with her for years. She's one of the only people that kept me here. And now she's gone. I didn't even know! I couldn't see that my very own best friend, the one I spent the most time with, was depressed! It just makes me wonder how much pain she actually went through and concealed so I wouldn't feel it." I was trying to choke back the tears, but it wasn't working. My ship has begun to sink again.

Nathaniel March:
I looked at her, not knowing what to do. Her best friend, my girlfriend (up until a few hours before her rumored death), was dead. Finally, I embraced her. Though I have tried to put on a brave face, I couldn't keep these emotions bottled up forever. One by one, I let the tears fall until there was a steady stream and then a flood.

Music started.

"We should probably head back to the service," Nat said, wiping away her tears.

"Yeah," I replied, doing the same.

.............

The service ended without us speaking to each other. When it was time to go up to the coffin, I didn't. Nat didn't either.

"Can't bear to see her?" I asked.

"I think I already know what she looked like," Nat replied, looking down at her lap. Her hands were fidgeting.

I put my hand over hers. "Nat, if you need anything, you can always talk to me. We could help each other."

"Help each other do what? Build a memorial for people that didn't really know her? Genius plan. Oh, and by the way, don't you dare call me Nat ever again."

She left, probably to her car. I didn't understand. Did I say something wrong? Does she not like me? The world will never know what happened between those two. I can only hope I find out what happened to Ali.