Don't Let Me Go ~ Chad Kowal x Robby Creasey (Chabby)

Say Something

*Chad’s P.O.V.*

When I woke up, I felt like crap; I barely got any sleep and my back hurt from sleeping in the chair all night. I was also mentally a wreck from everything that had happened last night. I looked down at Skylar who was sleeping peacefully, still in my arms and I brought him over to his crib and lied him down. He shifted slightly but continued to sleep.

I walked out and into the living room, and a wave of fear hit me when Röbby was nowhere to be found. I did a quick search of the room and took a deep breath of relief when I saw that all of his things were still here. I gathered myself and walked into the bathroom to get ready.

Making sure not to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I turned on the shower and stripped down as the water warmed up, then stepped in and sighed as the water cascaded down my pale body. I started to relax for a while now that I was alone, but couldn’t stop myself from thinking about Röbby. Where was he? Did he leave so he wouldn’t have to deal with me when I woke up?

I felt like I was going to cry again. I knew it was stupid; I was just an ugly, emotional, lonely little bitch that no one wanted to love.

When I got out of the shower, I looked at the body-length mirror that I had stupidly decided to put in the bathroom (It was mainly Porcelain’s idea), and I did then start to cry. No wonder Porcelain didn’t want me; I was hideous just like I had always been, all she did was make the mistake of saying “yes”. I didn’t blame her for leaving me anymore.

I was short. I was pale. My body was in weird proportions; I had a chubby face, a scrawny waist and wide hips. My thighs were fat. My face was ugly; my eyebrows were thick and short and my eyes were far apart, my nose was big and I had a horrible smile.

Why would anyone ever love me?

Tears ran down my cheeks as I opened up the cabinet above the sink and pulled out a razor blade that I had hidden in there. I looked at it, the light shining off of it as I held it between my fingers.

I… I couldn’t.

Could I?

I had to. I just had to.

I held the blade above my wrist and took a deep breath, then brought it down, the cool metal touching my skin; I didn’t push it in quite yet, I was only preparing. After a few seconds, I was ready; I began to push down-

“Chad?”

I jumped and dropped the blade, nicking my skin in the process as I heard Röbby’s voice coming from the living room.

“Y-Yeah?” I replied, and I heard him walk over to the door of the bathroom. He stood on the other side of the door as he spoke,

“You ok?” he asked, and I frowned.

“Yeah,” I lied, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

I noticed that his voice showed a hint of concern, “You just sound a little shaken.”

I sighed, angry that he had interrupted me.

I tried to sound normal, “I’m fine, Röbby. Really.”

There was silence for a moment before he said “Alright, well, please come out ok? I want to talk to you.”

Oh god. He wanted to talk to me… he was going to tell me that he changed his mind about living here, I just knew it.

I held back tears as I carefully put the razor away and held some toilet paper to the small cut on my wrist. Once it had stopped bleeding enough, I got dressed and walked out into the living room slowly.