Dear diary,
I stared at those words for the longest time. This is stupid. I closed the journal. Elena said that writing my feelings down would help, but what do I write if I don't even know what I'm feeling?
I sighed and took the journal, opening it and staring at the blank pages, hoping something would come to mind. Anything.
Can you imagine what it must be like if your parents died?
I can't. Eventhough I'm actually living it right now. I still can't imagine what life would be like down the line.
Three months ago, my parents, my older sister and I got into an accident. I don't really remember what caused it but my dad lost control of our car and it drove off of a bridge. Both my parents died. My sister and I survived.
Since then, everyday from waking up in the morning to going to bed at night, I'm constantly reminded that I'm never gonna see them again. Everywhere, everyone looks at you with that pitying look, it's pathetic. I don't want to be pitied, but can I blame them?
Somedays I wake up and I hear something familiar that my mom or dad use to do, and I get excited and relieved that this was all a bad dream and my parents are still alive, but then I go out and my sad reality comes crashing right back down.
It just doesn't feel the same without them. Doesn't feel right. Everything feels incomplete.
When my parents died, it's like they took a piece of me with them. A piece of my heart. My happiness. My sorrow. My love.
I feel incomplete without them and I don't think I'll ever be the same again. Or if I'm ever gonna get used to them not being around.
I closed the journal as my alarm rang. It was 5 in the morning.
Another sleepless night and another day of sleeping in.
________
Edited: 30/07/2020
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