Love Next Door

Chapter Three- What does he want?

He quickly found a popular nightclub that he could immerse himself in. He had about twenty five dollars he could kill. As he entered the bouncing club, he was hit with the smell of sweat, cologne and alcohol. The blaring sounds of yells clothed by techno/rave music filled his ears like an omen of what was to come. He pushed through the crowds and found a free barstool. A seemingly attractive male bartender served him up two pink, fizzy drinks that tasted like something his parents would never drink. He downed them in no time, and then felt the music's insane pounding fill his heart like a contagious disease; he sensed himself get up automatically and join the swarm of humans, dancing like animals to the beat.

He danced with no one in particular- and simultaneously everyone- until the alcohol dropped from his head to his stomach. He sought refuge at another bar stool, not ordering another drink; he didn't feel like drowning any deeper inside himself.

Suddenly an attractive young woman approached him; she looked him up and down while biting her lips. She had obviously been in the throng of people for a long time, she was shiny with moisture. Alike the woman at Ash's apartment, this female was also scantily dressed, more so in fact than the prior. She placed a slender hand on his shoulder and bent down to whisper in his ear.

"Shall I buy you a drink baby?" she purred. It was obvious that she was very drunk. He couldn't bring himself to amuse her, even for a few minutes to get a free drink.

"No thanks."

"Oh come on, I'll buy you something and we'll go around the back. It'll be fun..."

"I'm not interested."

"Why?" she slurred, "you got a wife? A couple of kids or something back home? They won't know."

"Seriously I can't, you'll have to find someone else." He felt very exasperated all of a sudden.

"I can see you want me, so why don't you just take me?"

"I like men." He said shortly. Her mouth parted slightly in surprise and then fell in dismay.

"Damn! But you're hot..." she said in annoyance and wobbled away back into the crowd. Jay had to excuse the woman, she was obviously too intoxicated to have any sort of rationality. He was quite surprised at himself for what he had said; he rarely even told strangers that he was gay. In this situation though, it was kind of necessary.

Shortly after the woman was gone, Jay felt himself grow fed up with the bouncing strobe lights and deafening dance music; he got up from his isolated stool and walked back home. It was only ten o'clock and he was exhausted.

When he returned home to his dark and lonely apartment he immediately stripped down to his underwear in the main room. He staggered past his kitchen and into his bedroom, completely missing the piece of paper that had been slid under his door. He collapsed on to his bed and fell asleep almost straight away; he slipped away with only one distorted image in his mind: Ash's face and his blue eyes winking at him. I have to forget him.

He dreamt of dancing women in lingerie. Ash was kissing them, falling all over them like an excited puppy. Jay wanted to turn, walk away, but he couldn't. He had to stand watching him lust over them, he wanted to vomit, and his heart was beating like the rave music against his rib cage. He awoke the next morning with sweat staining his skin and his stomach turned over uneasily inside him. He was hungry; he hadn't eaten since the previous afternoon.

Jay rolled off his mattress and went into the bathroom. He stared at his sleepy form in the mirror for a few seconds before splashing his face with icy cold water from the tap. He threw on some track pants and moved to the kitchen and put bread in the toaster. He roamed aimlessly around the main room until he spotted a random, ripped piece of paper sitting half-inside his door. He picked it up and saw that a few sentences were scrawled on it in blue pen: