I Won't Let Go [ BWWM ]

Chapter 23

**Journee**

When I finally got off I went to my car and rushed to his house. Banging on his door until he finally opened it.

“Journee what’s wrong?” “Why did you leave huh why?” “I went back to work. Did something happen after I left?” “No.” I turned to leave. “Why did you come here?” “Come tomorrow night.” “I can’t” “Please. Just for one song.” “why.” “Ethan” “I will come.” “Thank you” “Tell me what happen when you came to my church.” “I will tomorrow after.” “I’m going home. Good night Ethan.” “Good night song bird.”

[Saturday night.]

I was getting ready to go out on stage and I was hoping Ethan came like he said. I was hurt when I saw him leave yesterday and wanted to know why. I finished and I heard my name being called. I walked out looking around and was hurt until I started drowning. My heart smiled and begin to dance while to ‘Lazy Love’ while looking in Ethan’s eyes.  

When everything was, over I walked outside welcoming the air that felt great against my skin. I looked up and saw Ethan standing near my car.

“You came.” “I told you I would.” “Like the show?” “Depends was it for me?” “Why the fuck you want everything for you?” “You owe me something.” “Whoever the man was behind me was asking how much do I charge and his car was right outside.” Before I could say more Ethan had me in a tight embrace whispering in my ear how sorry it was that, that happen to me. “I have to go. I have church and funeral I have a long day.” “Looks like. Bye” I got in my car and went home.

{Sunday morning}

**Ethan**

“Don’t fear the strange fire just don’t bring it in the church. Strange fire means don’t bring contrary to the unsaved. We the body of Christ need to help them built them up. There was a time were none of us were saved. Light your own fire in the church. When you see the unsaved don’t shun them for not being saved or do things that are wrong in your eyes or the eyes of the Lord. Talk to them let them here your testimony and how God brought you out.” I breath looking out at my congregation.

“I am not worthy of God. Even when I wave my hands even stand here in this place in this pulpit in the church I am still full of dirt and filth yet God has called me to be a vessel of His word and His will. It’s only because of God’s grace and mercy any of us are here. As I bring this message to a close let’s keep the Stumps family in our prayers. If you need prayer, please come down.”

After church was over I went in my office preparing for the funeral when I heard a knock at my door.

“Come in” In walks Chloe with some lunch. “I thought we could have a light lunch then after the funeral we can go to dinner.” “thank you, but I already have someone bringing me something.” “Who her?” Chloe asked with an attitude.  “Who is her?” “Joey” “Who is Joey?” “The black girl.” “It’s Journee.” I say in a sharp tone but not too harsh. There was another knock on my door. “Come in.” Curtis walked in with some food. “I got you something to eat.” “Chloe does that look like ‘Joey’?” I say trying to keep a straight face. She got all her stuff and rushed out of my office.

“What was all that about?” “Chloe wanting me to dinner with her and brought me something to eat. She thought you was Journee but was being smart and called her Joey so I did. I shouldn’t have but I am just drained from all of this.”” Stay away from Journee for a few weeks to show them that it doesn’t means Journee is the reason you don’t want to be with Chloe.” “That might work.”

{later that night}

**Journee**

Getting out the shower I heard a knock at the door. I stood close by it. “Who is it?” I didn’t hear anything I went to the side window and saw him standing there. I open the door holding the towel close to my wet body. “What are you doing here?” “Well I missed you too.” “Who said anything about missing you? I sure didn’t. I saw you last night. Matter of fact you saw me naked last night.” “Actually, I didn’t.” “Why not.” “Why should I. It is your body to show off true enough but as a man of God I know when I should look away and I did. You didn’t see me when I turned around. I stayed but after a little bit I stopped watching.” “You make no sense.” “I make a lot of sense. I don’t need to see you naked to see your beauty and I will not look at you naked just to make you feel good or be happy with yourself.” “That’s not what I am doing. It’s my job Ethan.”

“Why are we arguing? Why are you upset?” “Just leave me alone.” I watch as Ethan stood in front of me before opening the door and walking in.

“Come here please. Sit.” I went an sat next to him.  “Journee, you are beautiful and I am not referring to the outside. You’re inside your heart is big even though it’s been hurt and through a lot you still show how amazing you are. When you sing, your voice is loud yet calming your painting pictures when you sing because the words are the paint and it makes everything better.”  I looked up at Ethan deep in his eyes. “What do you want from me?” “I just want you to be happy.” “Happiness isn’t for me.” “How do you know?” “I have tried.” “Try again.” “I am not doing this a third time. When I lost my mom and son was enough and not waiting for a next time.” “Next time might be better.” “whatever.” I go to get up when Ethan grasp my arm gently.

Before I knew it, his soft lips were on mine. In passionate yet soft kiss. I pull away but wanting more. “We can’t Ethan. I’m no good for you.” I say then walk to my room closing the door behind me.

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