Birth, Marriage and Death

Reconnecting

Ricky

Poppy did indeed move back in that day; her and Pixie and a car load of her belongings, and between us we set about preparing for Christmas, which was only a week away.

I hadn't done much in the way of preparation myself, I'd planned on spending Christmas with my parents as I always did, so I'd bought presents and stuff for them but I hadn't got a tree or anything. There hadn't seemed much point when it was just me there on my own and I hadn't been feeling particularly festive anyway. But I felt differently now, I wanted to make the house look all Christmassy and welcoming, so together Poppy and I went and bought a Christmas tree and piled it with decorations while Pixie ran round our feet trying to drag the decorations off with her and chew them to pieces.

Other than that we didn't do much. Neither of us had any work until after the New Year so we spent our time being cosy, talking a lot, making plans for the future, laughing and crying. We had several long, deep conversations about what had happened over the few months we were apart, some of which ended with both of us in tears.

Even though we were being honest and open with each other I tried not to let Poppy know quite how badly it had hit me when she left. She felt guilty enough as it was, she didn't need to know about episodes like the day they'd had to stop filming at the blind auditions because I'd been so shaken by a contestant singing her favourite song. I didn't even want to think about that myself now, it still hurt unbelievably. I'd been lucky that the press hadn't picked up on it, at least it was something only a very few people knew about. The only person that hadn't been there that day and knew about it was my mum and I wanted to keep it that way.

On Christmas Eve we set off up to Leeds to spend Christmas with my family. That morning Poppy was quiet as we loaded the car and set off and she got even quieter as the journey progressed. I knew something was wrong and I wondered whether to wait and see if she told me herself or whether to ask. I was worried that she'd just say she was fine if I asked her, when it was obvious she wasn't. I didn't want to be going back down that road again.

In the end, when we were around an hour away from our destination and Poppy was sitting pale and completely silent next to me, I pulled into a motorway service area, parked the car and turned off the engine.

"What's wrong Poppy?" I asked, unclipping my seatbelt and turning towards her.

"Are you sure your mum's okay with me coming?" Her hands were in her lap, her fingers twisting around each other nervously.

"Of course, why wouldn't she be? She loves you and she was so happy when I told her we're back together."

Poppy looked away, out of the window, and sighed then glanced back at me. She looked sad and scared.

"Rick, I treated you so appallingly that I wouldn't be surprised if she never wants to see me again. I'm surprised you're even speaking to me." She pressed her hand over her trembling mouth and I could see tears glistening in her eyes, tears which spilled over as she continued. "I'm sorry I treated you so badly."

Immediately I leaned across and drew her into my arms, tightening them around her body and kissing the top of her head softly. "It's okay Poppy, it doesn't matter. All that matters is that we're together now and we're going to be a family. Don't cry my love, please."

She was silent for a few moments and I could tell she was trying to get her emotions under control as she leaned into me. Finally she sniffed and wiped her eyes, then gave me a watery smile.

"Sorry," she said. "Did you tell your mum about the baby?"

"No, I wanted us to do that together. I thought we'd tell them on Christmas Day, if that's okay with you."