Birth, Marriage and Death

Wine and Roses

Ricky

I was bemused by the change in Poppy's mood while she'd been out working, although why I was surprised I really don't know. Her moods had been all over the place recently, sometimes changing literally in the space of a couple of minutes. One minute she'd be talking quite happily, the next she'd be sitting staring into space looking completely lost; looking more alone than she had even before we got together. It hurt so much to see, but I did my best not to let it show.

I'd thought she was getting better though, the last few days she'd seemed more relaxed and even earlier that morning we'd been joking about roast dinners and housework like we would have done before Alex died. But she'd come back a different person; almost pushing me away when I went to hug her; closed off and distant.

I wondered if it was me, if I'd done something to upset her, and I knew that I'd have to pluck up the courage to sit down and really talk to her soon, but not right now. That would have to wait until my parents went home at least. I just hoped she'd be okay for the next few days; that she wouldn't retreat into herself too much.

After watching Poppy walk upstairs I returned to the kitchen and grabbed a fresh bottle of white wine from the fridge, taking it back outside to top up my mum's glass. I'd been right about the Savignon, she loved it. I was glad we'd got several bottles.

"More wine mum?" I tilted the bottle in her direction as I sat down, unscrewing the cap and pouring wine into her glass when she smiled broadly and nodded. "Dad? Any for you?"

"No, I think I'll stick to the beer for the moment." He got up from his seat, "I'll get myself another one if you don't mind."

"I'll go," I went to get up again but he was already halfway into the kitchen.

"Leave him, he's more than capable of getting his own beer. He'll probably go inside and put the television on as well, you know how he loves watching the news." Mum said, glancing at me over her wine glass. "Was that Poppy back?"

"Yeah, she's just having a shower. She'll be down in a few minutes." I took a sip from my own glass and closed my eyes briefly, enjoying the sun on my face. I knew Poppy would give me hell about not having any sun cream on, but I didn't actually care. It would almost be worth a telling off if it provoked a reaction of any sort from her.

"How's she doing love?"

"I don't know. One minute she seems fine, the next it's like she's not even here. I don't know what to do, what to say to her." I sighed and ran my hand over my face, feeling a knot in my stomach when I thought about how things had been recently. "She won't talk to me, just keeps saying she's fine but I know she isn't."

"Has she seen her mum lately?"

I shook my head, "No, her mum's refused all contact. She's still blaming Poppy for Alex's death." The knot in my stomach seemed to move painfully to my chest. "I've tried and tried to tell her that it's not her fault, so have her brother and Beth but it doesn't seem to be sinking in. I don't know what to say anymore."

My mum reached out and took my hand, gave it a squeeze. "Want me to try and talk to her love?"

"Would you? If you think it would do any good, and if you can do it without it looking obvious; I don't want her to know we've talked about her behind her back." I knew that would just make things worse, if Poppy thought that people were whispering about her, feeling sorry for her.

"Leave it to me Rick, I'll see what I can do. I'll be the soul of discretion I promise."

"Thank you." I leaned over to kiss my mum's cheek as I became aware of sound in the kitchen. Glancing round I saw Poppy standing at the fridge, drinking deeply from a large glass of rose, the fridge door still open and the wine bottle still in her hand. Unaware that I was watching her, she drank half the glass, then refilled it and put the bottle back in the fridge and closed the door.

I felt slightly sick; I'd never seen her drink like that before, she normally drank quite slowly. I wondered if this was a new way of coping with whatever was going on inside her head, or if it was something that had been going on for some time unbeknown to me. Something else to add to the list of things we needed to talk about, I thought. Well it would have to wait; I didn't want to risk spoiling the next few days. I looked away quickly, then looked back in her direction as she called out a hello and stepped out into the garden.

She looked pretty, and although she did appear tired, she also looked much better than she had when she'd come home a while earlier. Her hair was freshly washed and styled softly and she had just a tiny bit of makeup on by the look of it. Her feet were bare, like mine, and she was dressed in a pale grey and white striped off the shoulder dress.

"Hi Linda," she walked over to greet my mum, bending to kiss her on both cheeks. "Sorry I wasn't here when you arrived, I took a last minute job as a favour to a friend."

"It's a shame you had to work on such a lovely day, but it's no problem. Gave me a chance to check this one is behaving himself. Is he still doing that thing where he sprays furniture polish on the radiators and tells you he's done the housework?" Mum smiled over at me and I rolled my eyes teenager-like, which achieved my aim of making both women laugh.

"I don't do that," I huffed, although we all knew that I did.

"Yes you do." Poppy grinned and ruffled my hair then kissed my lips when I tilted my head back in invitation. She sat down in the chair my dad had vacated and took a small sip of wine, much more like her usual drinking style. "He has his moments, but generally he's not too bad. Did you have a good journey down?"

"Not bad thank you. Oh, before I forget, the flowers in the sink are for you love. I put them there in some water as soon as we arrived, so they should be okay for a while."

"Thank you, they're lovely." Poppy smiled and settled back in her chair and seemed to be reasonably relaxed. "Roses are my favourites, I'll find a vase for them in a bit."

As we sat in the sun and chatted I relaxed a little as well, Poppy seemed back to her old self again. Perhaps her weird mood earlier was just due to being too hot, and tired from working and then sitting in the overheated car. I hoped so anyway, I couldn't keep up with the constant mood swings, not knowing how she was going to be when she walked in the front door after work. I loved her to bits, but I felt like I was walking on eggshells most days.