zach.net [short story]

zach.net

/what if I say something random?

/sjcns nskfbd sbsnfbpar t alsokgkfe

Good question! Now we come to the responses part.

/what do you mean by responses?

If you tell a computer "knock knock" it won't understand the joke. But humans do. I did. I needed my program to be as much like me as possible. That was the whole point, right?
So I started compiling a database of all my responses. If someone asked my living self "what's up" I would've replied "the sky"

/what's up?

The ceiling, the clouds...

/but you didn't say the sky!

Well, if you asked me many times my answers would change. Maybe once I'd say the sky, maybe another time I'd say the clouds.

So I put them all in my database.

/What other responses do you have?

Hundreds, thousands. We all have something that makes us us. If I asked you what your favorite color was?

/Green!

Well mine is cobalt blue.

/What's your favorite animal?

To eat?

/Umm, no

Just kidding! It's the lynx. This is what I'm talking about. We all have tons of personal answers and reactions.

/You're stupid.

Why, what makes you think that?

/Cool!

Testing my responses, aren't you? I can see you're learning more and more!

/Yeah. But how do you understand what I'm saying? Can programs read?

Not exactly. How can you read?

/Um...I was taught!

Well, me too then!

/How do you know how to write so well? Did you teach your program about congiunctiuns and stuff like that?

Conjunctions?

/Yeah

/wait, how did you know I wasn't saying something random?!

That was one of the hardest parts. Abbreviations, acronyms, they don't mean anything to a computer. But to humans yes. So another huge part of the database went into that.

You know autocorrect?

/Yeah, but they don't have it here. The teachers want us to write correctly.

Well, you write very well! I designed a version of autocorrect so that my program would be able to understand cu l8r or brb.

/Wow.

/How much time did it take you to finish it?

I put my program in action early- when I was still alive, I mean- and had my relatives test it out. It was very fun, seeing how my program would react to questions.

/so...you really are dead?

Yes.

/You sound so human, how do I know you're not someone who's playing a prank on me?

How can I prove it?

/Um

/98,261 times 147

14,444,367

/do you have a built-in calculator or you just used one to pretend you're a robot?

You're a clever one, aren't you?

/They said my dad was a technician, and that I got my brain from him :)

/you can understand emojis too?

Of course! ;)

/So

/don't you ever get lonely?

I'm a program. I can't get lonely. Though my real self would probably be feeling very lonely now.

/do you have a family?

Yes. They come talk to me sometimes.

/oh

/it must be sad and nice at the same time to be able to talk to your dead relative

You speak out of experience?

/yeah. My dad died and I don't know who my mom is

Oh, I'm so sorry.

/I wish you could've created a program for them too. Then I could talk to them.

:'(

/it's okay. They said my dad was a scientist or something. I've been searching for his creations.

I can help you. I have an implanted search engine all over the web.

/really? Thanks!

/my name's Tim, by the way.

Tim :)
That's a nice name. I named my son Tim.

/You have a son?

Yes, but my wife left him at an orphanage when I died. She went away and never came back.

/what orphanage?

The Brookdale Home for Orphans. I should never have let that happen to him.

/....

Yes, Tim?

/could

/I mean it's impossible-

/but

/?!

/dad?

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