2 Questions Every Girl is Asking Herself

Chapter 2

After graduation, much to my disappointment, she moved back to China immediately for, well...love. (Don't you just hate it when men steal your favourite girlfriends from you?!) I've known her for many years now and seen the boyfriends come and go, all of which were seriously considered for marriage. I really thought she'd be married by now.  I had twice planned to come back to Tianjin for her wedding as the maid of honour and twice the plan fell through. She is turning 30 this year. Thirty is an awkward age for a single woman in Tianjin (even though it's the third largest city in China, after Shanghai and Beijing, people are still somewhat conservative here), where most girls have serious boyfriends at 23 and get married at around 25. At 30, you really are considered, kind of... left over.

Angela's mom is determined to find her a husband, this year. She's fully retired but completely at work with this matchmaking business for my dear friend. For a woman, in the eyes of the Chinese at least, happiness for the latter part of her life is largely attributable to the man she chooses to marry. Choosing the right man, is almost more important than choosing the right career. I have heard a famous Chinese actor say, and he's well known for being a great husband, "If you want a woman to be more beautiful, give her more bliss." A beautiful woman is a happy woman. A happy woman is happy because she's in a blissful marriage. Auntie Sun is such a woman.

Auntie Sun, when you first look at her, you don't immediately think she's a wife, or she's a mother, you'd think she's a woman, first and foremost. Years of child rearing, of duty and responsibility haven't left a trace of bitterness or hardship on her face. All you see is beauty and grace and peace. Like life has been a smooth flowing river, and she a boat, letting the gentle current carry her, running its course.

Now that she's recently retired, her days are even fuller than when she was working. When she's not busy scheduling men for Angela to meet as potential husbands, she's taking photography lessons, getting facials at the Spa, or going to badminton practices. One week she's in Vietnam and the next she's ready to check out Bali, perfectly happy to pick up her bags and head out on her own. Smooth as silk in all kinds of social situations. She's someone who gets happiness, who won't stress herself out over nothings, or belabor over duty, or force her daughter into doing things against Angela's will. She's a caring and thoughtful mother with the enthusiasm for life as a twenty-year-old girl. And she has impeccable taste: she likes my panda eyes.

Auntie Sun used to work as a flight attendant, back when it was a glamorous profession reserved for only the young and beautiful and privileged. She later on married the captain of the flight crew, before he became big and successful. It's the classic fairy tale of a woman from a distinguished family, who marries a man from the village for nothing but love. The man later on becomes successful, and they live happily ever after. It really worked out that way in their case. You see, like dreams, fairy tales sometimes do live in reality.

Auntie Sun is trying to replicate this success formula with Angela's man-hunting mission.

And I get to go on these matchmaking dates with her.

The first boy I meet is the son of one of Angela's customers. Angela has a good job working at Chinese bank managing money for rich people. A couple of her premier clients really liked her and introduced their son to Angela, which makes logical sense, "Hey we trust you with our money, why wouldn't we trust you with our son?"

The boy is 28, good looking, educated, has a stable job and comes from a rich family. Check, check, check and check. On paper he's perfect. But when it comes to chemistry...not so much. They went to watch a movie while I got my nails done, and then we all went for dinner together. Being the observant third wheel, it's clear as day that Angela's not into him. But I didn't exactly understand why, until later, when she explained things to me, "He's two years younger than me. Some of the things he does or says still make me feel like he's immature." A lot of girls prefer guys who are older. If not older, then at least more mature. We don't go through dramatic events on a regular basis from which to judge a guy's character, but we need to make a decision nonetheless, and quickly. So we watch for the details. Love is in the details.