Somebody (A BoybandPH Series)

Innermost Thoughts

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details

"Paano na lang kapag hindi na kami sikat?" Niel asked through the screen of his phone, your face projected so brightly in the dim of the night. His room is quiet, save for the few snores of Ford in the other side of the room. He has his earphones plugged on so only him can hear your voice.

You had been together for quite some time now, but you rarely had the chance to stay together in one place. Often times, it'd be a sneaky date without his handlers and members knowing where he went. You haven't been caught together, but you fear the day that a photograph would come out, exposing your relationship and subsequently destroying Niel's budding career.

So this is how you met most the time, the clock has struck twelve, the moon looming over the night as you talked through the lightwaves and soundwaves of your phone. You missed Niel, but you know he couldn't be with you all the time. Not right now. And you were okay with that, you understood him.

You smiled at your phone's camera as you held it away from your face, just enough so Niel could see your expressions. "Bakit mo naman naiisip 'yan? Eh iilang buwan pa nga lang kayo eh." You were glad that Niel decided to open this up to you. His fears, his thoughts about the future... you couldn't help but wonder if his thoughts of the future included you.

"Wala lang." He smiled slyly as he turned to his side, trying to make himself more comfortable. "Pero diba, lahat naman ng artista nalalaos?" Niel was still smiling as he spoke about his fear of losing that luster that he has now. But you felt his fear through the cracks of his voice.

"Ito naman," You said in a calm, hushed tone as you tried to ease his thoughts of losing his dreams. "Sigurado ako pagdating ng panahon na 'yun, narating mo na lahat ng gusto mong marating." It was a frail attempt, but it was the best you could do. You didn't know if it was too early to assure him that no matter what, you would always be there for him so you chose to not dwell on the topic of your future with him. Instead, you chose to talk about his future.

Niel remained to be smiling, but it faltered for a second before the corners of his mouth lifted up again. You loved it when he smiled, even if he always hid his laughter behind the back of his hand. "Tingin mo ba pag hindi na ako sikat pwede na tayong mag-date na magkaholding hands?"

You couldn't help but laugh aloud at his question, although so serious was his tone of voice, the laughter bubbling in your throat was too strong to hold back. But it was also your way to hide the obvious reddening of your cheeks from his question. You were in his thoughts of the future.

"Grabe ka." You said and Niel obviously looked flustered as he tried to find the words to say, but you were okay with what he said, even if it was still early on in your relationship and you weren't sure if this would all work out in the end. You were glad that Niel loved you enough to include you in his dreams.

"Hindi ako informed na kasama ako sa future mo. Kinilig ako, ah." You admitted, voice filled with mirth. You didn't care if your mother would catch you talking to Niel in the ungodly hours of the night. He made you happy and that was enough. for you.

In the absence of light in his room, you could still see the flush of red as it ran up Niel's complexion. "Hala, mas kilig ako sa'yo."

And he laughed a pure unadulterated laugh, a laugh where he wasn't hiding the crooks of his teeth, an unguarded laugh that was meant just for you and in this moment, you couldn't believe that this boy allowed you to call him yours.

This was how you and Niel talked. He felt like a bestfriend and you were sure that he felt the same towards you. Except that you could hold his hand and kiss him in those stolen moments that you meet. He had never seen you naked, but your thoughts and his thoughts had always been presented between the two of you in their purest, naked form.

You rarely met. You rarely had dates. But you found that having conversations like this with Niel were the most important thing in your relationship. Niel needed someone to let out everything to and you were always ready to listen to him even if it meant sleeping at 3AM and waking up at 5AM for your 7AM class the next day. This boy mattered that much to you.

The rest of your conversation involved Niel talking about his stage fright, but he assured you that the rest of his band helped out with the feeling of sudden panic that would rush up his system before everything performance. He also asked about your day, but of course his day was far more interesting than yours. You conversations were exchanges of experiences and thoughts that no one else around you knew about. That was the special bond you shared with Niel. And you wouldn't exchange it for anything.

Tomorrow, you'd wake up to a headache because of staying up late and you'd need your shot of coffee before you went to class but Niel's good morning text will rejuvenate you more than any coffee would.