Addicted [BoyxBoy]

Don't Be Afraid

"His eyes," I finally said after thinking for a bit, "because they never lie."

It was true; whenever I looked into Bobby's eyes, I knew his true intentions. They were basically a free pass into his soul. But never his head, which was frustrating.

She wrote down some more stuff, longer than before, and asked another question, "What's his worst quality?"

"Despite him being a total dickwad?" I let slip from my mouth without thinking. I immediately covered my mouth and muttered a muffled, "I want that stricken from the record."

She laughed heartily, which turned a few heads, and she said, "Don't worry about it, this isn't court, and I won't use that. It's still a school newspaper. Just try again, okay?"

I nodded and exhaled. "He's. . . difficult. Just a handful."

"Does he cheat?" That question was not written down.

"No," I said reluctantly, though it was fear I had constantly that I tried to ignore.

"Does he not seem into it?"

"No. I mean, yes, he is, but-"

"You ever have doubts about this gay thing being a phase for him?"

"I don't know-"

"What does this mean for your friendship if you break up?"

"I don't know!" I practically screamed, causing everyone to look in my direction. I didn't even realize I was standing until I saw that my hands were flat on the table, holding me up as my knees shook.

I sat down carefully and said, "I'm sorry. . . I didn't mean to yell. Bobby and I are just not okay right now."

"Oh." Emma's face mimicked that of a deer in headlights, and her voice was just as fragile. She looked at me for a bit before slowly placing a hand on top of mine. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, despite me having to wipe off the tear that somehow slipped from my eye.

"What's wrong?" Emma asked as she pressed "pause" on the recording, "Friend to friend."

"I'm just. . ." I hesitated, not sure of what to say, "I'm scared. He's changing, I don't understand. He's becoming harder to figure out and I'm scared he'll change so much, that his feelings for me will change. I'm just scared of change. Our relationship was a huge change, and now that I'm starting to get used to it, I just don't know how I'd handle another change."

She nodded, and said, "Look, I'm really sorry for pressing you. We can do this interview another day if that's alright."

I nodded, the tears coming even faster, and I soundlessly wiped them away. She just sat there, staring at me while I was having a breakdown.

Finally, after a few minutes, she said, "Hey, why don't we go somewhere after school? Just you and me? I can help you get your mind off things."

I thought about it, wondering why she was being so nice to me. I took a deep breath and nodded, which made her squeal a little.

"Yay! Okay, meet me by the statue right after school."

With that, she hugged me really fast and left the library. I didn't even see her put her stuff away, that's how fast she was. It was actually the coolest thing ever.

I had only wished Bobby was there to see it.

*****

It was weird driving in a car other than my mother's or Bobby's. It was honestly refreshing: I didn't have to deal with the awkward silence that came with driving in my mom's car, and I didn't have to worry about being pulled over and arrested with Bobby (he made questionable decisions whenever he drove). Emma's plain gray Toyota was perfect for a casual drive, and she didn't ruin it by driving like a mad-woman. Despite her constant energy, she was a very calm driver.