Because I love you

Examination

They reached the third floor and went towards White's section where the doctor was already standing at the counter waiting for them.

"Hey" she greeted them, giving them an honest bright smile as if she was really happy to see them, "how are you?"

"Quite good actually, thanks" Ian replied.

"Okay" was Mickey's answer.

"How are you?" Ian asked while White directed them into a medical checkup room.

"I'm alright. Just have some really whiny patients who overreact all the time." She closed the door and pointed towards a chair in the corner, "please have a seat", before she sat down herself.

"Well Mickey how is it with the pain?" she asked, Mickey's medical folder sitting on her lap. Ian was grateful that White didn't beat around the bush and just asked directly. Mickey hardly opened up to people but it was even worse when they pretended to care by doing small talk. White did care and also knew Mickey better than he would admit. And Ian knew Mickey trusted her which was more he had originally been able to hope for.

"I'm okay. Doesn't hurt much anymore."

Ian could hear the lie in his words and he also hadn't missed Mickey wincing as he changed his position in bed during the last couple days. Mickey was in pain he just didn't admit it and refused to take the painkillers. Deep down in Mickey there was still something left of the views Terry had burned into his son's mind. That he couldn't show weakness. And that he deserved pain. It killed Ian that he sometimes still held on to this shit but he also knew Mickey couldn't help it. He had come a fucking long road at accepting himself but hadn't fully done it yet and now his new situation made it even harder.

Ian was pretty sure White didn't believe Mickey either but she just nodded and wrote something in the folder before she said, "Okay now I'm going to examine you. Please lay down and undress except underwear. Let me know when you're ready, I'm waiting outside." Ian stood up to follow her but Mickey grabbed his wrist and held him back. His heart jumped a little as he felt his grip around his arm pleading him to stay. White was gone and Ian pushed Mickey to the stretcher on the wall and tightened the wheelchair's breaks. Mickey hold on to the top of the stretcher and pushed himself up out of the chair and onto the stretcher. He grabbed his legs that were hanging off the edge and placed them on the blue fabric which covered the stretcher. Then he took of his jacket and the sweater underneath and put them over the wheelchair. Ian grabbed the lower end of Mickey's shirt and gently pulled it over his head. The surgeries were about five months ago but he knew that it still hurt.

They didn't speak. Mickey had never been a chatty person and Ian was the one who would be constantly talking about literally anything but they've always also had their quiet moments in which they didn't feel like making conservation. Didn't need it. Because they understood each other without words.

As Ian got the shirt off of Mickey he revealed the big scars that covered his torso. He had seen them before but every time he laid his eyes on them he felt a twitch in his guts. Terry was responsible for these marks, the ones he had caused himself and and the others from the surgeries. One big scar was on his side, reaching from his ribcage to his hip. Two others were on his back, created when the doctors had fixed what they could of Mickey's spine. There were more scars all over his body, old and newer ones but Ian didn't mind it. He actually liked them because they were a part of Mickey and because were his skin hadn't been destroyed it was soft and even. Ian remembered the countless times he had watched White or a nurse change the bandages on Mickey's wounds. In the beginning he had seen so much blood that he had thought Mickey was about to bleed out again. He also remembered the physiotherapy sessions during which Mickey's legs were moved in order to keep the muscles from completely degenerating. His face grimaced with pain as the doctor bent his legs. Mickey couldn't walk anymore or even move his legs but he still had sensation in them.