The Last Click

Chapter Twenty-Three

"It is!" He looked down when I raised my voice at him.

I felt my chest aching. I find it hard to breathe. If I die today, it'll be his fault; it'll be because of him. Just like how my mother died, it's because of him.

"If you really loved us, if you really loved mom, she wouldn't have died that day. Have you forgotten? You were going to kill her. You tried to remove those machines that's keeping her alive!" I said, shouted rather, in between my sobbing.

He couldn't respond. He sighed. See? He couldn't say a thing. He couldn't even look at me.

Probably because what I said was true.

"Is that your definition of love? How could you?" I looked at him, disgusted.

Silence invaded my room. None of us was talking. The only thing that I hear was the beeping sound of the machines attached to me and me, sobbing.

"You don't know the story, Aeviry." He looked to me and I was surprised to see that he was crying.

Wait, he's... he's crying?

Is this real? This is the first time I saw him cried like this... in front of me. I did not saw him crying when Mom had cancer, when Mom was struggling, when... when Mom died. This is also the first time that... that I feel pity for him.

I want to tell myself that I should not believe him, that he's just lying and all of this is just him, acting. But, my heart tells me to calm down and try to listen to him. At least once. At least for this day. Because this might be the only chance.

For once, I let my heart decide what I should do. And my heart tells me to listen to him.

So, I did.

I closed my eyes. I'm trying my best to calm. So that I could face him without having the urge to punch his face.

I saw him wiping his tears when I opened my eyes, "Every night, I come home drunk. Why? To be numb even for a little moment, at least. To forget how painful it was to lose the only love of my life."

Rivers of tears came out from my eyes, from his eyes. Why didn't I asked him once about that?

"I experienced all kinds of dates. Blind dates and such, name it, hoping that I'll meet someone that'll help me forget what I felt for your mother. But, after having a long list of flings, no one replaced your mother in my heart."

I just kept listening to him. I don't know what to say, I don't even know what to feel.

"I tried removing those machines attached to her because... because it was her request."

"W-what?"

"I remember her saying-- begging at me to remove those machines. I thought she was just joking but she did not stopped begging. I remember the exact words she said... "I did not vowed in our wedding that death will do us apart. Because love, even if I die, my heart will always belong to you. Only you. I already fulfilled my duties to you as your wife and to our sweet daughter as her mother. I already fulfilled my vows. I loved you, I took care of you, and I stood by you. I fulfilled all except one, die because of love. Ironic, yes. Please, this is my last request. Wouldn't you fulfill your dying wife's last wish?" I couldn't believe that she managed to smile that day."

I could imagine mom's beautiful face while saying those words. It breaks my heart.

"I couldn't speak. While I was drinking at the nearest bar, the sound of her voice, the words she said kept playing in my head. I wanted to be mad at her. I wanted to ask her why me? Didn't she even considered my feelings? And the moment I got drunk, I've decided to fulfill her wish but I lost my control. Anger made me blind. I lost control that I even hurt you, I wasn't expecting you'd be there." I bit my lower lip to prevent sobbing.