I Wish You Knew [Haylor]

Chapter 58

She's in bed, peacefully sleeping without any nightmares around her head and that reliefs me, I can't see her crying again after everything that she's been trough. I hated the fact that I'm not there when she needed me the most, those times when Jake made a complete bullshit out of himself, those times when she called me up at night, when I'm still on stage, she never did that before yet she did that night and I feel stupid, dumb for not going home.

I'm so sorry, baby.

I guess the crowd makes me... forgets and sometimes it is a good thing, a really good thing. But when it comes to a stupid forgetting, and I guess because I am stupid, it's a mess.

She called me up in the total of 26 times, 45 missed calls, and 43 texts full of her depressions that I didn't even look up to, and that I should've check it up. This was all me now, ME. No one else, just me, Harry Styles.

I wonder what she's feeling, her little self. I imagined her, scared, lonely, afraid, her fear crumbled up in her mind, knowing that she's alone. And I'm not there with her, for her.

"Taylor?" I crawled into bed, calling out her name just to see if she's still awake but she isn't. She's already sleeping beautifully and... flawlessly.

I feel like, everything about her never change, it stays and it will always be. Maybe she changed, but I couldn't see it. She's still the ten year old Taylor I always laughed it, and now she's still my Taylor.

She might not be my girlfriend, but she is mine. Always be. Always.

The fame and the reality just hit us really dramatically and uncontrollably that we kind of separate ourself, but we're still home. Our spotlight just make us more distance, and weird around things but we solve things our and its all good now.

"Baby..." She smiled, murmuring those words under her hair, her face was completely out of sight because her hair got in the way.

She reaches her hand out to hold mine and I slipped my hand on her, intertwining our fingers together and she gave me the most sweetest yet softest smile I've seen, I've seen that smile before, it's the Taylor smile but I haven't seen them in a while.

"I love it when you smile, especially at me." I get closer to her and I kissed her forehead, brushing her hair and pushing her body towards me.

She grabbed something, I didn't look at where she was grabbing it from because I was to busy on her. See hands me it and it was just an elastic, I guess I have to tie her hair into a ponytail? A bun?

I couldn't even do this right, I couldn't even do it. Dammit...

"Are you sure?" I asked, sounding really confused and not wanting to do any of this. She nodded and closed her eyes, she's still really tired.

I pulled her hair into one single ponytail and I just tie it with the elastic, it looks really good actually, I quite like it.

"I did it!" I sound very happy, I smile at her and I hugged her from behind, feeling every heat of her body on me.

"Harry." She said and I raised my eyebrows, looking at the ceiling and forcing my eyes to open, I am really exhausted.

"What are we?" She said as she moved her leg on top of mine, I can't help but feel the movement she does when she did that.

"What do you want us to be?" I asked her, giving her a questionable look. It was a tough question for me, I don't want to screw it up, not now.

"Just answer me." She said, a little bit more stern than before. "More than we are now Tay, girlfriends and boyfriends." I told her, she's been holding a breath for a long time and she didn't realize that, she finally let it out.

"That's good to hear, at least I know now." She smiled again, yawning and getting even more closer to me.

Cuddling her up like a little baby feels so nice. After a year I've been waiting to do this, I finally did and it felt so relaxing to have her in my arms and to me, to myself. To Harry.

"So I can do what I want to do, to my boyfriend." She said, smiling again like a kid and I can't help but laugh. She's been acting cute all day and not a single of her act makes me tired.

"What do you want to do?" I asked, furrowing one of my eyebrow and she shook her head with a big sigh.

"Kiss you." She plant a kiss on my jawline, that was a sudden one and I wasn't ready.

"You can kiss me whenever you want babe, you don't have to be my girlfriend to kiss me. I'm free, all yours even when you're not my girl, you're still my girl because there's no rule that says I can't." She rolled her eyes and mumbled something.

"I'll kiss you tomorrow when I wake up, okay? I need to sleep." She gets comfortable on me and she slept with her arms twisted with mine, so does our legs.

"Okay." I kissed her cheek. She drifted off again and all I do is stare at her and smile to myself for a couple of time, thinking that today I've made it official, again.

"I love you."

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Author's Note :

Not proud but hey new chapter. Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you for 3k reads! Love you all. ❤️😘