Back Alleys and Bar Stools

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The cool night air hits my skin as I pass through the back door of the club and into the alley. Letting the door slam shut behind me, I lean up against the wall and pull out my lighter along with the pack of smokes I have in my pocket. My fingers pull one of the cigs out of the pack and I shove the pack back into my pocket before flicking the lighter and lighting the smoke. It's only a matter of seconds before the slim 'death stick' is between my lips and I take a long drag, enjoying the feel of the smoke in my lungs before blowing it upward into the night sky.

I'd forgotten what this felt like. I think it's called fun. Yeah, I definitely remember it being called fun back when I used to have it all the time. It's been so long since I had it, I'm surprised I remember how. We spent so long fighting. We fought with the bad guys, with each other. We were fighting in so many ways, I don't think any of us knew which way was up. But that's all over now, and the fun can begin. Plus, I'm on my own tonight, which is another thing I barely remember doing.

The past few nights I've been on my own most of the night and I'm loving every second of it. To be able to just be me, not worrying about anyone else and how they see me. It's something I don't think I've ever done in my life, and I like it. Even though I'm not completely sure who it is that I am when I'm just me being me, I'm having a lot of fun finding out.

I take another drag of my cigarette and blow it into the air.

Whoever I am, I seem to like having a lot of fun. I can't say I hate that about myself. Not that I'm a total amnesiac or something. I know my name and where I live. Where I used to live before it became a smoking hole in the ground. I remember everything there is to remember about my life, even the stuff that's made up and the stuff that felt like hell, I'm just not sure who going through all that stuff has turned me into. My whole life, I've never really known who I am as just me. There's always been someone else for me to latch on to and define myself by them. I haven't really had the time to find out who me is. Now I have the time, and I'd really like to find out.

My face turns upward to the stars and I take a long deep breath of the fresh air, my cigarette between my fingers at my side.

God I love the smell of fresh air. It's so different from the hot and sweaty air in the club. But then, who could blame me for wanting a break from all of that. I've spent the last...

Turning my wrist and bringing my watch up to where I can see it, I check the time.

Hour and a half in there dancing up a storm. After a while it just gets a little much and you need a break from it all. So here I am, enjoying the night in the back alley of the club, smoking a cigarette, all by myself.

"Mind if I bum one off ya?"

Okay, so maybe I'm not quite as alone as I thought.

I look over in the direction of the voice, near the front of the alley. A dark shadowy figure is coming towards me and I pull myself off the wall to meet them.

"Sure, I guess..."

As the figure gets closer, I get a bad vibe off him and I'm not quite sure I want to be sharing anything with him. I keep up the pretense though and pull my pack out of my pocket again. The shadowy figure comes close enough for me to see his face in the moonlight and I'm a little disappointed.

He's cute. A couple inches taller than me, brown hair, seems like he's got a nice body. He dresses pretty good too. If it weren't for the fact that I'm getting a weird vibe off him, I'd ask him to go back inside and dance, maybe more. But I'm not stupid enough to ignore what my instincts are telling me. You don't spend as much time as I have around slayers and not learn to trust your instincts.

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