living a lie

chapter 2

JJ's POV

Its not easy being in a breakup but its even harder hearing a breakup, especially when its your fault. Last night was amazing, around an hour after i met Luke he was on me. I could feel the pulse in his neck racing the adrenalin whizzing under his skin. His lips pressed firmly against mine, his hand was slowely moving up my back making circles with his thumb along my spine. His mouth slacked off a little as his tongue found its way to my lips then my mouth. Coreographing a sequence with our mouths moving in time to the quick rythem of his heart beat. His hand now in my butt pocket. Then it stopped and he went limp as he rolled away.

I felt a sense of guilt. 1) He had already told me he had a girlfriend and 2) I lied to him not only about being bi but about having a boyfriend. My boyfriend left me a year ago; Luke looked just like him, thats why i was drawn to him in the first place.

i had seen him from accross the bar, he was alone and familliar. i didnt want to get my hopes up too high but i kew there could be just a small chance that he would say yes. after he had pounced me in the bar he went quiet. i payed for a 2 day ticket for his car then drove him back to my place. laying him on the sofa i went to get a coke and when i got back i found him in his underwear. its not like me to take advantage of someone when they are in such a vulnerable state but i was drunk. he pulled me down with such strength i couldnt even try to pull away. once again he had our tongues dancing that same choreographed sequence. our bodies entwined and carefully balanced on the edge of my ancient sofa. as his hand slipped between my jeans and my boxers i could feel his stomach tense up. i knew he was enjoyinh himself aswell as entertaining me. he moved biting my neck then kissing it. i was thinking about how this could never last when he suddenly stopped and looked into my eyes "im engaged" he whispered and then he went totally silent. i laid my head on his chest and listened to the slowing beat of his heart merging with thy ticking of the click on the wall feeling my head go up and down with the steady pace of his breathing. then we fell asleep. together. as one.