Clopwyck River - revised version

Chapter Thirteen

The last time I've been anywhere remotely religious was my Mum's cremation. The whole thing passed in a blur, with relatives hugging my numb body and telling me how wonderful she was, as if I didn't know that for myself. The worst part was listening to someone talk about her as if they knew her. Hearing the officiant say that she was 'full of life' was just a wretched reminder that she was now empty of life, just a corpse in a box, waiting for flames to take her away. More flames.
​I push the church door open, and tiptoe in. The quiet of the building engulfs me, a musty smell of damp and comfort wafting up my nose as I close the door behind me. The warmth surprises me as I let my shoulders relax into the unfamiliar surroundings.
​"GAAAA!!" The sound of a chair scraping across the stone floor makes me leap out of my skin, clutching my neck. I whip round to where the sound is coming from and come face to face with Leo's Dad holding a chair in mid-air, his eyes as wide as mine.​He puts the chair down, and puts a hand to his chest, then leans against the chair.
​"Wow, Demi-Louise. You really scared me."
​"Sorry. I didn't....should I have knocked?"
​"No, no, you're fine. I just wasn't expecting anyone. I'm normally back at the vicarage at this time of day, but one of my churchwardens isn't well so I had to come and set up for later. Give me a hand?"
​Not wanting to argue with a man of God in church, I drop my bag and walk over to the stack of chairs.
​"I just need a few extras put out at the back. We've got band practise later, and the families sometimes come and watch."
​"Band practise?"
​"Yes, Demi-Louise, the church band. Did you think we just play the organ here?"
​"No, well, I...."
​"Don't worry. What brings you here?" He stands up straight to face me, wiping dust from his hands. "Did you want to talk about your Mum?"
​I shake my head so hard I have to tuck my hair back behind my ears. "No. God, no." I clap a hand over my mouth. "Oh, God, I'm sorry! I mean, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that!"
​Dan puts his hand up and I'm worried he's going to banish me from the church forever, but he gestures towards the chairs he's just set down.
​"Calm down, Demi-Louise. You're not the first person to get flustered in church. Sit down with me."
​He plants himself in one of the chairs and scratches his beard as he smiles at me. I swallow hard as I sit with him, smoothing down my hair and checking my clothes are presentable. I look around the church, taking in the high ceilings, the stained glass that manages to make the dim daylight look beautiful, and the crucifix at the front until Dan coughs politely.
​"Sorry, it's just, I don't think I've been inside a church since I was at school. It's...." I explain.
​"Weird?"
​I look at him, surprised by his choice of words, but am relieved to see him smiling, and not judging me for being a blaspheming non-church goer, who's had naughty thoughts about his son.
​I smile back at him. "Yeah, I guess so."
​"So what can I do for you, Demi-Louise?"
​"You can call me Demi."
​"Your mother picked such a beautiful name for you. It seems a shame not to use it."
​"Uh, okay."
​He looks at me, his eyebrows high on his forehead, then checks his watch.
​"Sorry, I'm in a bit of a rush to get this place sorted before everyone starts arriving."
​Perfect. My opportunity to bolt. "Sorry, should I come back?"
​"No, no, you're fine."
​"Okay." Why didn't I think this through? "Well, I was just hoping to find out how Ben's doing?"
​Dan's face softens at the mention of his son's name. "That's very kind of you. Sadly, he's still in the same condition as when we last spoke. I understand you went to visit him, so you'll know what I mean."
​"Yeah. I hope he's going to be okay."
​"I'm sure he will be. Like I said, it's thanks to you that he's still alive. He's getting great care at the hospital, and I've been praying for him." I squirm in my seat, not having any idea what to say to that, until he smiles at me again. "Is that all?"
​I shake my head. "Sorry, no. When I saw him on the bridge, right before he....he just seemed so upset. Upset about something he did. I know I didn't know him, but I'd met him before that day, and he just seemed so.....so confident, and sure of himself. There was something bothering him on the bridge. He seemed....hollow, desperate. So lost." I look at Dan who is nodding at me, his eyes filled with concern. "Sorry, I know it's not really any of my business, but..."
​"But you feel a responsibility for him. It's okay, Demi-Louise, I understand that. I believe there was a reason that you two were brought together on that bridge, and I think perhaps you do as well."
​"Um, maybe? I don't know. I guess I just want to know whether there's anything I could have said that might have stopped him."
​Dan shuffles his chair closer to mine. "Look, Demi-Louise, I don't think there's anything you could have said or done that would have stopped Ben. He was- sorry, is - a very determined boy. And you're right, he's confident, and very popular, gregarious even, self-assured, and genuine." I nod along with each word he lists, thinking of Ben the first time I met him. "But he has another side, too. A very....a very troubled side."
​"Troubled?"
​Dan nods, and rubs his forehead. "Yes. He's suffered with some issues in the past, on and off. Things have been worse since his mother passed away, but we thought we'd turned a corner. Then there was the incident on the bridge. I should have known something like this would happen."
​I've crept forward so I'm hanging on the edge of the uncomfortable plastic chair. "What sort of issues?"
​"I'm sorry, Demi-Louise, but I'm not sure Ben would appreciate me talking to you about this in too much detail. It's really a private family matter. I hope you understand?"
​"But has he done anything like this before?"
​Dan looks down at his hands as he picks the skin around his nails, then looks at me and nods his head. "Like I said, Ben has been very troubled and there have been incidents before this one."
​I stare at Dan, willing him to carry on but realise I'm not going to get any further. A wave of guilt crashes over me as I look at him, hunched over on the chair in this lonely church. He stands up suddenly, his hands on his hips. My cue to leave.
​"I'm really sorry; I shouldn't have asked. It's none of my business."
​"It's fine. It's good of you to show such an interest in Ben." He smiles at me, then gestures towards the door. "Now, I better get you out of here before the drum kit starts to arrive. You don't want to get dragged into helping to carry that."
​"Thanks."
​"No problem. Feel free to visit back here whenever you like. You have a friend here, if you'd like one."
​"Okay then. Bye." I wave awkwardly and pull open the heavy door, suddenly eager to get out of the church.
​I'm not interested in making friends. What I want is answers.
***
My conversation with Dan left me feeling empty, so I walked home from the church and swung by Chancellor's on the off chance that Ruby might be working, or eavesdropping as we'd discussed. She wasn't, so I just walked home alone, thinking about what might be going on with Ben, how he was troubled, and what he could possibly have done to make him think his only way out was to set himself on fire.
​I slow up as I get to Daria's house, seeing a man and woman in black and yellow overalls getting into a van and backing down the driveway. I read the side of the van as they drive past me. It says Love Honey.
​What the?
​I walk into the house and find it deserted, but there are voices and sounds of furniture being moved around coming from upstairs. I wouldn't normally hang out with Daria and Andrew, but curiosity has got the better of me so I go up the stairs and find them, and Elliot, in my bedroom.
​"Um, hi?" Andrew and Daria have just put my bedside drawers down under my window, and Elliot spins round to look at me, mid-jump on my bed.  "What are you all doing in my room?"​
"Nothing snoopy, I promise." Andrew puts three fingers up to the side of his head.
​"Dem-dem, we got beans!" Elliot shouts.
​I look from Elliot to Andrew, then scan the room. "Huh?"
​"We don't got beans, Elliot, we got bees. Or, had bees, more accurately. All sorted now though," Andrew explains.
I sit down on the side of my bed, Elliot throwing his arms around my neck as he carries on jumping on my mattress. I can feel Daria watching us in the corner of my eye, but I ignore her, and address Andrew.
"Sorry, bees? In here?"
​"Honeybees to be exact, and not quite in here, just outside your window, between the eaves and the wall of the house. We've just had the experts come and get rid of them. They were really pleased we called them."
​"So, did they, like..." I look round at Elliot who is busy pulling faces in the mirror above my bed. "...kill them?"
​"No, no, nothing like that. They managed to remove the entire nest. They're transporting it back to their farm where they keep other honeybees. There might be the odd few left behind, so best to keep your window closed for the next few nights, but nothing to worry about, Demi."
​"Okay then."
​"Andrew's right, Demi." I blink at Daria, shocked to hear her say my name, to acknowledge that we're in the same room. "Keep the window closed, just in case."
​I nod at her, and she just stares back at me.
​"Well, we're all done now so shall we leave Demi to it?" Andrew reads my mind as he checks the window is shut properly. "I think we've put everything back where it was, they just needed to get to the window. Stop jumping on there, buddy, and let's go and get ready for dinner."
​Elliot clatters off the bed, and runs out of the room flapping his arms. "Bzzzzzzzzzz!"
​"That noise still hasn't gotten annoying, even after a few hours." Andrew pats my shoulder as he walks past me. "See you for dinner in about half an hour, Demi. Oh and you got some post, it's on the kitchen table. Looks like it was hand delivered. I suspect you have a secret admirer."
​"Andrew, don't." Daria huffs as she picks Elliot's blanket from the floor and walks out of the room.
​"I'm just teasing her. She knows that. You know that, right, Demi?"
​I roll my eyes, trying to cover the excitement that's in danger of fizzing up from my belly as I follow them downstairs to get my note.
"Whatever, Andrew."
***
I've closed the door to my bedroom and I'm sitting on my bed, the note in my hands. I trace the letters on the envelope, written in black spiky capital letters. I don't want to open it because I'm worried if I hope too much for something from Leo, it will miraculously change the contents of the envelope.
​What a loser. Just open the damn letter, Demi.
​I carefully tear the envelope open, and scan the ink on the page, not allowing myself to focus on the words just yet. I deflate a little, disappointed at the shortness of the letter which can only really be described as a note. I close my eyes, and take a couple of deep breaths, getting my adrenaline in check, then look down at the page, ready to read it properly.
​It's not from Leo, and not only does my heart sink, but the hairs on my arms stand on end as I read the words.
​STAY AWAY FROM BEN. YOU WILL BE SORRY YOU EVER CAME TO CLOPWYCK.