Taken - Lost (Book 1 of the Taken Trilogy)

Chapter 6

Lavender

  I woke up as Gen and her Mom pulled into the garage. A wall of guilt smashed into me and I fought back tears. Gen silently stared at me with an unreadable expression. I returned the look. Ms. Marks cleared her throat. After waiting a beat, she said, "Lavender, I messaged your parents to let them know what happened. What they decide to do is their decision. I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention. This shouldn't have happened on my watch." I felt even worse. Ms. Marks thought it was her fault! She felt guilty! I wanted to say something, anything, but my mouth suddenly dried up and my vocal chords seemed to contract.

   I tried to focus on the ground as I got out of the car. I knew I would definitely cry if I made eye contact with either of them. As we made our way up to the apartment I tried to strategize. Would I just accept whatever punishment they doled out? Would I rebel even more? Would I apologize my way out of it? What would the punishment even be? 

   I kept my head lowered as I walked into the guest room my parents were staying in. Dread and nausea were swirling around my stomach and I struggled to keep control of my emotions. "Lavender. Look at me, Lavender." 

   I reluctantly raised my eyes to meet my father's. He looked worried and angry at the same time. That was never a good sign. He sighed. 

"Lavender, what were you thinking? I wouldn't have been too angry if you had asked permission, but running off like that scared Ms. Marks half to death!"

 I nodded miserably. I could tell he hadn't finished.

"What you did was completely irresponsible. You cannot just walk away from someone in a crowd like that, especially if you're going to be drinking. What would have happened if you'd had another glass of champagne, hm? What would have happened if some stranger saw you like that? You were completely vulnerable!"

   Another nod from me. My mother was looking out the window, clearly trying to keep herself from getting emotional. I felt like shit. I could've been kidnapped because of what I'd done. I could've gotten myself killed. My heart shattered at the thought of never seeing my family again, never saying goodbye, only to wind up dead in an alley someplace. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. I started sobbing.

   "I'm so sorry! I never meant to scare you like that! I didn't wanna hurt you like that, I wasn't thinking, I'm sorry!" I choked. My mom was there, rocking me back and forth and murmuring, "It's okay, sweetie. You just scared us. You're fine. It's okay. Shh." I snuffled gratefully and burrowed deeper into her pajama shirt. After a few minutes of this, I went to bed, finally ending a day that had dragged on far too long.

   I was having that nightmare again. This time, I saw more detail. More guns, a cold hospital room with a steel bed, a nurse with a needle, and that heart-aching betrayal. I felt sick, I wanted to wake up, break free from this subconscious hellhole, but I had gotten on this ride and there was no getting off. I jumped awake when the alarm in Gen's room went off, disoriented but gloriously free from the nightmare. We shuffled around the room getting ready. We tugged on our clothes and dimly dragged ourselves down the hallway to delicious, delicious food. We had some Cheesy-Ass Bacon Eggs, which were one part egg, two parts cheese and one part bacon, aka food from the gods. I felt a little better with some food in me.

   However, even Cheesy-Ass Bacon Eggs could not quell the earthworms in my stomach. I was starting a new school, but there were going to be a few sickening constants. One: I was going to be stared at wherever I went as soon as my classmates figured out what kind of person I was. Two: I was always going to be under pressure - From my parents, my teachers, myself - until I either turned into the proverbial diamond or got pulverized. Three: I would be alone. Isolated. I was not likable and I had to live with that. I didn't pity myself because of it, but I did get a little jealous of Allium's constant effervescence.