An Unforgiven Grudge

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     I made my choice but it didn't matter. I wanted this battle almost as much as I wanted Cloudtail. I wasn't going to stop this battle because others thought different about what I've become. I thin this was for the better. ThunderClan needed to grow up and start fighting more for what we need. Territory, prey, revenge.
     Anyway, grief can do that to you. Some cats want revenge and become furious, or some become depressed and don't eat, sleep or even move. ThunderClan is lucky I only want revenge.  It will make ThunderClan stronger.
     My mind was only on the ferociousness of revenge, not the state of depression. My mind still worked fine, just that kindness in my eye was gone. No biggie.
     The moon way fully up into the sky, shining brighter then any eye could ever glow in the night.                     
     I stood up, anoxisness burning through my veins, like the sun in a green-leaf evening. I focused again and padded behind Bramblestar and Squirrelflight. I stuck right at their heels while everyone - but Millie, Toadstep and Mousewhisker - padded silently behind me.
     We came to the border that kept the enemies away and I stepped up to the front.
     "Follow me," I meowed, turning back and stalking into the ShadowClan territory.
     I spotted the rocks through the gloom of the darkness and followed the path to the camp. I was excited and anxious, but hoenstly, my heart had a lump of emotion weighing me down just a bit.
I felt guilty I didn't stop the battle when I had the chance, but this was for the best.
     That's what I needed to hear right now, before I turned around and dashed away until I collapsed. "Any deaths that will occure in this battle will be technically your fault." A voice reminded me hoarsly. It sounded familiar, but at the same time it didn't; It was like someone I remembered very little. I forced myself to not turn around to see if someone in the group had said it and just keep going forward.
     We trekked quietly through the territory and we came to the camp. "Lionblaze, Bumblestripe, get the guards as quietly as you can." Bramblestar ordered low and the two toms stalked off. "Foxleap, Berrynose and Leafpool, stay here in case any ShadowClan cats flee. The rest of you, attack!" He growled out orders and everyone stalked quietly into the dens.
     Yowls erupted loudly in one den and then another. I waited for that grey tom to come out.
     Crouching down in the center of the camp I waited ever so quietly.
     I looked around and saw ThunderClan cats chasing ShadowClan's scared forms. They were all pretty shocked and tired. Thornclaw and Birchfall worked together to beat a stong warrior while Hazeltail charged at a she-cat who was taking on Sandstorm.
     I yelped in surprise as a cat landed on my back. I flipped onto my back and sprung back to my paws. I attacked the cat with all the energy I had, clawing at her chest. She scratched at my face and I did my best to dodge them.
     The she-cat pushed me backwards with so much force I stumbled back and fell. She ran at me and I looked to the side, keeping my good eye on her and ramming myself into her.
     My shoulder felt terrible as I pushed her back. The she-cat tripped and I was pinning her again. I grabbed her throat and she yelled for help to whoever might be listening, and I let go again.
     She ran off and I turned to the battle. She was Leafpool's problem now.
     I searched the battle for that grey pelt again with no such luck.
     'He must be on patrol...' I thought to myself. Even if that was true we were getting beaten pretty badly and with three or four more cats, we might just loose this battle.
     I'd never live with myself if we lost this battle.
     I lunged at a tom who was beating Amberpaw badly and tore at him. Amberpaw helped out by attacking his flank while I got at his face. He scratched at my face and turned back at Amberpaw, hissing and standing on his hind legs only.
     I backed up and rampaged at him, ramming into him so hard he flew into the ground and I stumbled to the ground as well.
     The world spun around me and Amberpaw purred lightly, running off. I lifted my head and shook it. That clears my vision but caused an enormous throbbing pain in my nose and forehead. After all, I had landed harshly on my nose.
     Fighting to stand up, I searched the camp for the grey pelt again.
     Blood was pooling around Snowpaw and I gasped terribly loud. Not loud enough for anyone to hear. The yowls and sound of claw meeting and ripping flesh were all anyone could really hear.
I ran up to her and cuddled her, nuzzling her face. She opened her eyes just a bit and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. "Snowpaw, you'll be okay, keep fighting..." I whispered in her torn ear.
     She was too young. She couldn't give up, she had a mate to love, kits to bear, a life to live.
"Br-Brightheart," Snowpaw stuttered and I leaned in, "I'm, I'm cold..." She whispered and I nodded, whispering back, "I know, it'll be alright. Don't go with StarClan, stay here."
    "But StarClan welcomes me, I want to see Cloudtail again, and that's the only way it'll happen." She insisted and her went fast and I stood up. She hacked up some blood and I leaned in to say something, quickly realizing she had stopped breathing.
     Shock pulsed through me and I looked around for someone to help. 'What am I to do? Beg for Littlecloud to help me?'
     "N-no no no, no... Snowpaw?" Her figure was bloody, deep claw marks scattered her body. Her soft, snow white fur was knotted and stained.
     I closed her eyes, unable to bare the sight of her distant milky blue eyes.
     Jayfeather, Swiftpaw and Cloudtail were right. 
     Why was I such a fool?

*****
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